MistcallerMistcaller | Art by Ryan Yee

Electric Company and Water Works

I'm Michael Celani, and lately, I've been thinking about utility lands — cards like Bojuka BogBojuka Bog and War RoomWar Room, which suck if you don't need 'em, but are a godsend when you do.

On an unrelated note, I've also been thinking about silver bullets — cards like Kaya's GuileKaya's Guile, which suck if you don't need 'em, but are a godsend when you do.

That's when I realized that there are way too many unplayable silver bullet cards languishing in people's bulk bins. Why not lower the utility cost of adding those effects to decks by re-imagining them as overpriced activated abilities on a land that enters tapped?

BrandBrand might be terminally awful, but Homeward PathHomeward Path is something everyone wishes they included when they run into that theft deck at game night.

Here are some effects I want to see landified, and although this article is entirely speculative, you might find the perfect solution to a deck that's been bugging you in these cards.

Pull from EternityPull from Eternity

Exile is bizarre. Unlike every other zone in the game, which has an unambiguous, delineated purpose, exile is defined less by what it is and more by what it isn't. Exile isn't your library, your battlefield, your hand, or your graveyard... so what is it, actually?

Well, you have to read your cards. Some treat exile as a removed-from-the-game forever zoneremoved-from-the-game forever zone. Others use it like a second, temporary handsecond, temporary hand. Others still repurpose it as a purgatory your cards must endurea purgatory your cards must endure before they really do something cool.

That amorphous nature of exile endears me to Pull from EternityPull from Eternity. It has so many hidden uses, and I love it! Wanna shut down someone's Yorion, Sky NomadYorion, Sky Nomad combo? Did a Wrenn's ResolveWrenn's Resolve reveal something you don't like? How about reusing an encoreencore? Pull from EternityPull from Eternity can handle all three!

Now, I'm not a monster. I do understand how risky it would be to print this effect on anything remotely reusable; realistically, you'd have to limit the land's targets to cards your opponents own to prevent shenanigans. Still, I'd gladly pay and tap to shut down someone's JhoiraJhoira-suspended Blightsteel ColossusBlightsteel Colossus.

Aquus SteedAquus Steed

We've got access to cards like Maze of IthMaze of Ith and Labyrinth of SkophosLabyrinth of Skophos to remove creatures from combat, but messing with attack powers is a bit deeper. Sure, lowering a creature's power doesn't shut down enemy combat to the same extent, but it can affect how your opponents attack or even block.

I know we technically already have this in Beyeen VeilBeyeen Veil, but it's such a weak effect that I'd rather see it be a repeatable activated ability.

MistcallerMistcaller

Although the canonical way to deal with graveyard strategies is to exile that player's graveyard before they do anything funky, MistcallerMistcaller would be an intriguing twist.

Unlike Bojuka BogBojuka Bog, which exiles a graveyard once when it enters and then spends the rest of the game as a SwampSwamp, a theoretical MistcallerMistcaller-land would require much better timing (assuming that you would have to tap and sacrifice it as a cost).

Each turn, you would have to make a real decision about whether or not you want to hold off the Reanimator player for a bit longer or tap out to advance your own game plan. Failing to pick correctly in either direction can have consequences, and that makes for engaging play.

The other fascinating thing about MistcallerMistcaller is that it stymies more than just reanimation. It bans any and all fraud, including tutoring creatures directly onto the field and blinking them for value. It's not uncommon for giant threats to end up cheated onto the field several times a game, and deciding whether or not the current threat is worth your land is a great test of skill.

Organ GrinderOrgan Grinder

For a color that basically lives in the graveyard the way I did during my moody teenage emo phase, black's lands don't really care to use the cards in them as fuel for interesting effects. Only (the extremely recently-printed) Great Arashin CityGreat Arashin City cares to, and that's basically just a reskinned Azorius cardreskinned Azorius card, of all things.

I say let black do more with the cards in its graveyard than simply moving them to the battlefield! They don't have to be groundbreaking effects, but exiling three cards to get a little reach on an opponent might make the difference between a victory and a loss.

Break OpenBreak Open

This narrow sorcery comes to us highly ranked, albeit only on lists of comically-usless Magic cards. With how much support face-down creatures have gotten in the past few years, though, it's time to give Break OpenBreak Open new life as a modal double-faced card.

Play out your land or cheat the cost of turning your manifested Valgavoth, Terror EaterValgavoth, Terror Eater right-side up, the choice is yours!

BloodscentBloodscent

If Rogue's PassageRogue's Passage represents an overcosted way to sneak a creature through a crowded board state, then why not flip the script and make everyone fight?

LuresLures, like fogsfogs, are criminally underplayed in Commander; use one effectively, and you can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. After all, it forces your opponent to send their precious, yet frail value enginesprecious, yet frail value engines to certain death in combat all whilst the rest of your crew has free reign to smack them down unperturbed by blockers.

It gets especially nutty if you can reuse the LureLure at instant speed; I have shut down entire games with Tempting LicidTempting Licid.

I know I contrasted this idea with Rogue's PassageRogue's Passage, but unlike making a single creature unblockable, putting a repeatable LureLure on a permanent type that nobody really interacts with might present a problem. That's why I think BloodscentBloodscent would work best as a modal double-faced card with its land on the back.

Rishadan PawnshopRishadan Pawnshop

I love sacrifice outlets on lands, and although High MarketHigh Market isn't great at its job of killing your own stuff, it's better than nothing. Decks that aren't aristocratic generally use cards like this to protect their important permanents from exile, because you're much likelier to get something back from the graveyard than the endless expanse of liminal space that Swords to PlowsharesSwords to Plowshares ensnares its victims in.

It's just that most sac outlets on lands deal specifically with creatures, so if someone points a Devout ChaplainDevout Chaplain at your OmniscienceOmniscience, you're out of luck. A Rishadan PawnshopRishadan Pawnshop on a land would work as a solid middle ground; you can save whatever you want, but it's going back into your deck, and you have to keep your land up to do it.

There's also a neat interaction with Act of TreasonAct of Treason effects, since unlike a sac outlet, it won't put the card back in an enemy's graveyard.

ScuttlemuttScuttlemutt

Color hate has been a part of Magic since the very beginning, and even now, it sees some niche representation in spells like FryFry.

The problem is that that representation is a little too niche. Removal is already so efficient that the primary upside of cards like Celestial PurgeCelestial Purge, their cheap cost, isn't even noteworthy. The only real benefit remaining is the ability to break the color pie, and the only spell to come close to widespread use because of it is Red Elemental BlastRed Elemental Blast.

So why not turn ScuttlemuttScuttlemutt into a land? It's not so unprecedented; after all, Unstable FrontierUnstable Frontier can temporarily transform a land of yours into a basic of any type, so modifying a permanent or spell's color isn't a bridge too far.

(By the way; if you think Unstable FrontierUnstable Frontier is useless in itself, think of it as a Painted BluffsPainted Bluffs that can also turn off your Urborg, Tomb of YawgmothUrborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth when it's another player's turn.)

FoodFood

Scene of the CrimeScene of the Crime gave us a ClueClue land, so it's high time we got a FoodFood land! I'm surprised one didn't get printed in the Bloomburrow Squirrel deck, because that would pair well with that deck's focus on foraging.

You don't even have to stick to the tried-and-true for three life. Like Ransom NoteRansom Note, you could play with the formula and offer other choices, or even make the sacrifice free, given that you're trading in an entire land for it.

What'd I Miss?

Those are the cards I thought of that I'd love to see reimagined as lands, but surely there's plenty more out there. Which effects would you like to see on a land? Let me know in the comments below — I'm always interested in seeing old, weird cards!