Squee, Dubious MonarchSquee, Dubious Monarch | Art by Zoltan Boros

Welcome to Technically Playable, where our mission statement is "Every commander is Technically playable" (the best kind of playable). The way this works is every article will have a commander generated using EDHREC's random button, I'll talk through the card and then write about how we can build around it.

This week's random commander is: Squee, Dubious MonarchSquee, Dubious Monarch.

Gobbling up the Goblins

Squee makes a great Goblin commander, offering both a fast Goblin RabblemasterGoblin Rabblemaster-esque way to make critters as well as having the reduncancy of being castable from your graveyard to rebuild after a the Azorius player plays a Wrath of GodWrath of God.

Typical Gobbos

A typical Goblin kindred deck will do one of two things. Option 1: Make tons of Goblins and attack to kill everyone. Option 2: Make tons of Goblins and kill its opponents through indirect means with cards like Purphoros, God of the ForgePurphoros, God of the Forge or Altar of the BroodAltar of the Brood.

Just like in life where the two inevitable things are death and taxes, when it comes to Goblins the two inevitables are Goblins and more Goblins.

Luckily there are lots of ways to make more Goblins than grains of sand on all of Earth's beaches. Krenko, Mob BossKrenko, Mob Boss is both the most used Goblin commander in the game (with over 33k decks) and also the most exponential way to make a million little green men.

And while this version of Krenko is an auto-include and probably the best card in most Goblin decks, Krenko, Tin Street KingpinKrenko, Tin Street Kingpin is another excellent addition in decks that want to run a lot of "lord" style effects like Goblin KingGoblin King and Coat of ArmsCoat of Arms, as these make him bigger and able to spit out more friends.

On a slightly slower axis you can use Legion WarbossLegion Warboss and Pashalik MonsPashalik Mons to help build up your board. Legion WarbossLegion Warboss is yet another attempt at fixing Goblin RabblemasterGoblin Rabblemaster with varying levels of success while Pashalik gives the deck a mana sink that is an excellent top deck that gives a way to both develop a larger board and go over late game board states with some direct damage (take that, Angus MackenzieAngus Mackenzie!)

One thing I always like to talk about is how decks actually close out games. Like everyone else, I do love playing three-hour long slug fests that swing back and forth but as a mono-red enjoyer since 2014 I know better than most the struggle that mono-red players have with actually ending games.

For Goblins there are a few ways. Of course there is the Purphoros, God of the ForgePurphoros, God of the Forge and Altar of the BroodAltar of the Brood options mentioned above, but let's be realistic. Goblins want to turn sideways and get at people's life totals. Cards like Goblin KingGoblin King and Goblin ChieftainGoblin Chieftain, as well as Battle Cry GoblinBattle Cry Goblin, give this deck a bunch of lord style effects as well as cost reduction and mountainwalk.

Goblin King also pairs well with Blood MoonBlood Moon, one of red's few ways of punishing multicoloured decks.

Skirk Fire MarshalSkirk Fire Marshal is a great way to close out games or clear boards and pairs perfectly with Brash TaunterBrash Taunter (one of my all time favorite cards), Eldrazi MonumentEldrazi Monument, or Akroma's MemorialAkroma's Memorial.

The biggest threat to small green friends is big green enemies. A 1/1 GoblinGoblin token doesn't really match up to a Craterhoof BehemothCraterhoof Behemoth, so this deck needs to make sure it has ways to get some of its biggest threats into play.

An early Goblin LackeyGoblin Lackey or Warren InstigatorWarren Instigator can really turn the tide of a game by giving access to some of the most powerful Goblins earlier than normal. Being able to drop an early Muxus, Goblin GrandeeMuxus, Goblin Grandee or Kiki-Jiki, Mirror BreakerKiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker can help the deck to get ahead or can be an excellent way of catching up after a board wipe. The dream is a Warren Instigator turn two into dropping both Kiki-Jiki and Conspicuous SnoopConspicuous Snoop turn three.

And finally, as I've mentioned in old articles, the reason I'm not a fan of kindred decks. There are some cards that it often feels like you absolutely need to run in a kindred deck to help give it access to tools that other decks get. Cards like Vanquisher's BannerVanquisher's Banner and Herald's HornHerald's Horn are really key to keeping up with other card advantage while Coat of ArmsCoat of Arms acts as a Craterhoof BehemothCraterhoof Behemoth or Moonshaker CavalryMoonshaker Cavalry for the decks that aren't allowed them.

The Supporting Cast

While just making a million Goblins and attacking is the most fun thing that can be done in all of Magic (no bias, I swear), unfortunately Commander has reached a point where it's just not good enough anymore. Decks need utility; they need access to card draw and removal.

In terms of card draw, Goblins do struggle. Idol of OblivionIdol of Oblivion and Vanquisher's BannerVanquisher's Banner can only do so much work, but the real ticket to a full hand is SkullclampSkullclamp. Not only are most of the Goblins in the deck, and the tokens that it generates, 1/1s but we can also utilize some powerful sacrifice outlets like Skirk ProspectorSkirk Prospector and Goblin BombardmentGoblin Bombardment (I was going to write Phyrexian AltarPhyrexian Altar, but I think this is much more on theme) to equip Skullclamp to creatures with more than one toughness and still force them to die.

The mana generating sac outlets are the real key here as they allow you to attach Skullclamp, sacrifice the creature to draw cards, and then generate the mana to equip the 'clamp to another creature.

On the topic of "drawing" cards, we can go down the route of something that red is much more well known for: impulse drawing. Named after Act on ImpulseAct on Impulse, this is a way for mono-red to play on the more aggressive higher risk theme of red cards.

Goblins have gotten a lot of this in recent years (I say recent but I've just seen that the Lord of the Rings set came out in 2023 and now I feel like an old man). Rundvelt HordemasterRundvelt Hordemaster is a great way to turn those sac outlets into cards even without SkullclampSkullclamp and also gives you an incentive to ABA (always be attacking) since any Goblins that die turn into card draw.

You can also use Moria MarauderMoria Marauder as another aggressive card draw option giving you a reward for connecting with your opponents. And of course, while not a free outlet, Dark-Dweller OracleDark-Dweller Oracle gives you a way to sacrifice creatures for cards as well as another way to get those clamped creatures into your graveyard.

But card draw is only one part of the equation. As was mentioned above, big blockers are this deck's worst enemy, so if there aren't enough Goblins in play to simply swamp your opponents, there needs to be ways to remove the roadblocks.

Obviously Chaos WarpChaos Warp is one way to do this, but this is a kindred deck, so it wants Goblin-themed removal. Volley VeteranVolley Veteran is definitely the most thematic, giving the deck a way to leverage the number of Goblins in play to clear out the biggest blockers.

In a similar vein Hobgoblin Bandit LordHobgoblin Bandit Lord abuses the number of Goblins but in a different way by being repeatable but only for the Goblins that entered this turn. This works particularly well with both versions of Krenko by using the huge number of tokens created to remove a creature every turn.

But creatures aren't the only issues in Commander; there are a lot of noncreature permanents that are incredibly powerful. While red historically has struggled with enchantments, artifacts are a different story, and Goblins are no exception. Goblin TrashmasterGoblin Trashmaster is an excellent way of using any Goblins you don't need to attack as a way of removing tricky artifacts like CrawlspaceCrawlspace that might be causing issues.

And lastly, an actually new card, Howlsquad HeavyHowlsquad Heavy is another one of those cards that got lost in the deluge of releases. Both a FervorFervor and Priest of TitaniaPriest of Titania for Goblins this card is a bit of a no-brainer in Goblin decks. While the speed mechanic can take some time to build up, if your deck is aggressive enough it shouldn't take very long to get this guy ready to unleash some crazy big Crackle with PowerCrackle with Power or Goblin OffensiveGoblin Offensives.

Off-Theme

While Squee does make a great commander for a Goblin deck, he also benefits from non-typical kindred cards.

Like most decks, Squee loves Treasures. Not only does it give mana, but there are plenty of Goblins that benefit from hoarding as many as possible. Crime NovelistCrime Novelist and Krenko, Baron of Tin StreetKrenko, Baron of Tin Street give some great ways to use the tokens by getting bigger and generating mana and Goblin tokens, respectively.

While not a Goblin, Professional Face-BreakerProfessional Face-Breaker is a Goblin's best friend, allowing the deck to benefit from spreading damage and then turning Treasures into more cards. The deck can then leverage these cards into more mana by getting XornXorn and Goldspan DragonGoldspan Dragon into play.

And this article ends where it began. Talking about card draw and removal has made me hungry for more combat. There are a lot of Goblins that help this deck to deal tons of damage to its opponents but there are also some honorary Goblins that need to be mentioned. Subira, Tulzidi CaravannerSubira, Tulzidi Caravanner helps the small creatures to sneak past much larger blockers, while Devilish ValetDevilish Valet can very easily give even the biggest green creatures a run for their money - and with trample to boot!

I'm sure I've missed a lot of "honorary Goblins," so let me know in the comments of this article what I should've talked about.

As with all Technically Playable articles, this was a very quick look at Squee, Dubious MonarchSquee, Dubious Monarch as a commander, and a few of the cards that can really make a deck with Squee as the commander tick. Let me know in the comments below if you play this version of Squee, if you want to build a Squee deck, or even if you just enjoyed this article!