The Skullspore NexusThe Skullspore Nexus | Illustrated by Daarken

Hi, I'm Michael Celani. Ever wanted to build a deck around some specific artifact or enchantment, but hated the fact that you had to spend so much deck space finding it that you gave up and slapped togetherThe Ur-DragonThe Ur-Dragon instead? Yeah, me too. Tempting LicidTempting Licid, my beloved.

Luckily, Commander has a place for "cards you want to build around," and that's the command zone! If only we could put any card in there. Unfortunately, the man says you can only put legendary creatures, a few legendary Vehicles (and Spacecraft), a couple of planeswalkers, and The Grand CalcutronThe Grand Calcutron there. Well, I've already told you about utility lands that need to exist, so let's take the next logical step and commandularize a few things. These are the effects I want to see reprinted onto legendary creatures in the future.

Selfless SquireSelfless Squire

There are plenty of commanders out there that prevent damage. Angus MackenzieAngus Mackenzie, Oriss, Samite GuardianOriss, Samite Guardian, and Atalya, Samite MasterAtalya, Samite Master come to mind... wait a minute, no they don't! Only nerds have ever heard of AtalyaAtalya.

Those commanders elicit a solid "huh?" from most players because crowning your deck with a method to nullify damage isn't the most sensible use of the command zone. Purely defensive options generally don't make the cut these days; you gotta either pose some sort of threat, or generate enough value that the rest of your deck poses some sort of threat.

So, let's upgrade a defensive strategy to an offensive one. Selfless SquireSelfless Squire should be reborn as a legendary creature! Change literally nothing about the card; mana value, abilities, everything's already flawless. The gameplan's simple: shield yourself to buff up your commander's power. Your opponents will have to try and take you out eventually, and if they do that via combat, you're in the clear. Fun tech like the Circles of Protectionthe Circles of Protection can finally find a real home, your blink spellsblink spells now double as FogsFogs, and you could even leverage self-sacrificial cards, like Jade MonolithJade Monolith, to absorb even more damage.

For the nonbelievers out there, it's not that far off in practice from playing a DarienDarien deck full of Soul SistersSoul Sisters. Your life total remains unchanged either way. Besides, unlike the slogfest that is Angus MackenzieAngus Mackenzie pillow fort, you have to continuously spend cards to keep yourself protected, so there's some counter-play.

Sage of HoursSage of Hours

Heroic is a fascinating ability. It emphasizes Auras and instant-speed combat tricks that wouldn't see the light of day in most commander decks. A proper Heroic trigger on a commander could re-contextualize the cards you're holding and transform the entire game when you cast it.

It's just unfortunate that the target-your-own-stuff strategy has been dominated by the same old players for years now, and worst of all, none of them have actual Heroic. Wanna cast combat tricks? Cool, pick one of Feather, the RedeemedFeather, the Redeemed, Ivy, Gleeful SpellthiefIvy, Gleeful Spellthief, or Zada, Hedron GrinderZada, Hedron Grinder. If you're a hipster, you can run Gargos, Vicious WatcherGargos, Vicious Watcher; if you're an extra-hipster, go for Anthousa, Setessan HeroAnthousa, Setessan Hero.

To make Heroic worthwhile, there has to be a useful and interesting payoff for it, and Sage of HoursSage of Hours has what we're looking for. Now, I'm not a monster; obviously, +1/+1 counters are far too easy to stack on the guy and would immediately lead to trivially-easy-to-assemble infinite turn combos. Instead, I'd modify Sage of HoursSage of Hours to use a unique counter type, so you'd have to actually cast some spells that target it (or go deep into proliferate synergies) to reap your rewards.

Black MarketBlack Market

Big mana, big spells, big impact! Despite green's reputation as king of ramp, it's black that's best known for making truly heinous amounts of mana. Whether it be recouping value from spells you've already castspells you've already cast, increasing the potency of every Swamp in the deckevery Swamp in the deck, or making tons of Treasurestons of Treasures, you've got everything you need to cast Torment of HailfireTorment of Hailfire for twenty.

Black MarketBlack Market in the command zone would be another notch in black's aristocrats strategy, but instead of zoning in on the ping everyone to death tactic that permeates the archetype, it would lend it some of that big-mana flare. I love adding unique touches to popular strategies, and this would certainly qualify.

Crucially, it would also be fun to fight against. How far are you willing to push your luck that your opponent isn't holding anything useful? Did they fail to pack adequate protection or back-up ramp, leaving them vulnerable? Do you have a Yurlok of Scorch ThrashYurlok of Scorch Thrash in your back pocket that you desperately want to use again?

BedlamBedlam

I want a BedlamBedlam commander because I am simple-minded. Ignore all those times I wasn't.

Before you throw your monitor out the window, I know that you can easily find a way to disregard blockers from the command zone; I've read Sun Quan, Lord of WuSun Quan, Lord of Wu. It's not enough; I want BedlamBedlam specifically. I want everyone to disregard blockers.

Red has the weakest identity when it comes to commander combat, and that's always bothered me. The other colors are easy. White excels at going wide; blue at evasion; black at winning trades; and green at going tall. Red's unique strength is pumping out damage the fastest, whether that be with early game plays or surprise haste, and that just doesn't matter much in this format. Even if you're not daunted by the massive amount of life you've gotta chew through to win, people rarely go shields-down in a format where the other three players have an opportunity to hit them before they get to untap.

BedlamBedlam solves all these problems. Sure, being symmetrical sounds like a downside, but those massive life pools will rapidly dwindle when every creature is turning sideways. Plus, haste becomes much more valuable when you're unconcerned about whether or not it'll be wasted on a board state you can't profitably swing into. Besides, when you consider other ways red can affect attacking, such as goad, extra combats, and combat tricks, you could break parity in a way that's fun and interesting for everyone in the game.

The Skullspore NexusThe Skullspore Nexus

It's difficult to imagine a sacrifice or graveyard deck without some flavor of black, but mono-green has dipped its toes into those waters before. Yedora, Grave GardenerYedora, Grave Gardener, SixSix, or even a sufficiently jank Zopandrel, Hunger DominusZopandrel, Hunger Dominus have all realized the dream, and I'd like to add The Skullspore NexusThe Skullspore Nexus into that list.

A command-zone Skullspore NexusSkullspore Nexus would be a playground for green's power-based sacrifice effects. Greater GoodGreater Good, Life's LegacyLife's Legacy, and Momentous FallMomentous Fall all salivate at the prospect of a commander that rewards sacrificing big creatures with more big creatures to sacrifice. If you've got Ashnod's AltarAshnod's Altar or Phyrexian AltarPhyrexian Altar, you can even pull some Krark-Clan IronworksKrark-Clan Ironworks-style buffoonery to have multiple creatures die at once during the casting of a spell, combining them into a super Fungus DinosaurFungus Dinosaur when the trigger finally resolves.

Speaking of which, Fungus DinosaurFungus Dinosaur is a lovely creature type. Dinosaurs are obviously a great creature type, but Fungus could supercharge some relatively niche cards, like the Thallid Familythe Thallid Family and Brightcap BadgerBrightcap Badger. Who doesn't love a wacky kindred deck?

Coveted JewelCoveted Jewel

Okay, so: there are commanders that donate permanentsthat donate permanents, there are commanders that donate themselvesthat donate themselves, and there are even commanders that make other people donate thingsother people donate things. A hypothetical legendary creature version of Coveted JewelCoveted Jewel would fit right in that illustrious crowd, albeit with the twist that sometimes you don't want to give away your old, dented canned goods to charity for the tax write-off.

To be clear, there are reasons to give up control of Coveted JewelCoveted Jewel. For instance, you have to share it around if you want to draw more cards; you only replenish your hand when you gain control of it yourself; and, as my therapist says, you must first lose control to gain control. It's also a great distraction to keep yourself out of harm's way. Simply let the rest of the losers duke it out over the Chaos Emerald while focusing on your strategy and you'll make it to the end of the game with life to spare.

But there's also a great reason to keep it, and that's that three mana per turn. That is a significant amount, and if you can make use of it, you'll rapidly leapfrog your opponents in development. On a hypothetical creature version of Coveted JewelCoveted Jewel, it would be even more important to guard it jealously; you wouldn't be able to tap it the turn you gain control of it, so you'd only get the extra resources with a continuous streak of fending off attackers.

I know I haven't really said why I want this commander, so here's my best argument for it. I constantly hear the monarchy described as an elegant mechanic that makes every Commander game it touches deeper, more strategic, and more fun. Coveted JewelCoveted Jewel is the monarchy on crack.

Commandularize It

These are just a few of the cards I'd love to see reborn as legendary creatures in some future Commander product, like Avatar: The Last Airbender Commander and Modern Horizons 4. What unique effects on permanents would you like to see in the command zone? Let me know below, and I'll see you next time, where I probably tell you which of Gavin's Mystery Booster Test Cards should really be allowed in the format or something.