Mister NegativeMister Negative | Art by Thanh Tuấn

Welcome to Too-Specific Top 10, where if there isn’t a category to rank our pet card at the top of, we’ll just make one up! (Did you know that Ob Nixilis ReignitedOb Nixilis Reignited's emblem is the only card (if you count it as a card) in the Orzhov color identity to trigger upon any player drawing a card?)

I think the most interesting card of the entire new Spider-Man set might be Mister NegativeMister Negative.

At the same time, though, he might be the most boring? The card is amazing, a play on the old Selenia, Dark AngelSelenia, Dark Angel "swap your life total" decks that makes you want to go the other direction. But when it comes to deck construction, the path is pretty clear: you're an Orzhov life-gain deck. Like every other Orzhov deck. Not exactly stuff that lights your hair on fire.

There is something else that Mister Negative does, however, that is an interesting spin you don't often see in Orzhov decks.

Top 10 Orzhov Draw Triggers

Criteria: Cards within the Orzhov color identity that trigger when you draw a card. As is tradition, all results are ordered by EDHREC score.

10. Stalwarts of OsgiliathStalwarts of Osgiliath

(2,810 Inclusions, 0.09% of 3,190,605 Decks)

There will be a theme to this list, and it's "Beggars can't be choosers". With that said, Stalwarts of OsgiliathStalwarts of Osgiliath is a Limited card, and even there is a card that you find near the end of the pack in draft. We'll get to the slightly more interesting card it left out of our top ten in Honorable Mentions, but suffice it to say when there are only 11 cards total that do the thing, a lot of them are going to be bad.

9. Mindless ConscriptionMindless Conscription

(4,842 Inclusions, 0.17% of 2,793,961 Decks)

At first read, Mindless ConscriptionMindless Conscription is a bad card. Then you realize the whole conceit of the card is "here's a 3/3 for three with upside", and it gets slightly better. Still, as a rule in Commander, we're not really concerned with efficient 3/3s that might become 6/6s. We'll leave that to Limited and Standard.

8. Gurgling AnointerGurgling Anointer

(5,616 Inclusions, 0.16% of 3,475,874 Decks)

Drawing a second card for the turn is much more achievable than drawing a third, but even still, the payoff here is just not worth it. No, the reason that Gurgling AnointerGurgling Anointer is seeing play isn't its draw trigger, it's its death trigger. Our issue is, to really get the creature we want back (our commander), we'd have to stack six counters on Anointer, which just isn't going to happen.

7. Diviner's WandDiviner's Wand

(7,621 Inclusions, 0.11% of 6,878,850 Decks)

Normally I'm fairly dismissive of Equipment like this that are expensive to put down and then are also expensive to attach. For this deck, however, Diviner's WandDiviner's Wand is doing exactly what we want to do: triggering for every card we draw when our commander comes down, and translating that immediately into damage to deal back to the person we just gave our life total to. Throw on a mana sink as well, and we're absolutely ecstatic to be taking the risk of getting blown out by having our creature removed when we attach this. High risk, high reward!

6. Hoofprints of the StagHoofprints of the Stag

(7,251 Inclusions, 0.23% of 3,190,605 Decks)

There's something lost in translation with Hoofprints of the StagHoofprints of the Stag. An Elk walked through, and now its footprints make flying Elementals? Okay, sure.

Regardless, this is another card that normally I would be actively hostile toward that seems like it's going to be amazing with Mister NegativeMister Negative. Our commander comes down, draws us 10-20 cards, and then for the rest of the game we can make three-mana 4/4 fliers whenever we have mana laying around? Seems like an excellent backup plan.

5. Starving RevenantStarving Revenant

(17,298 Inclusions, 0.51% of 3,378,997 Decks)

Those of us who have tried out Octavia, Living ThesisOctavia, Living Thesis in a few dozen decks are well aware that eight cards is a lot of cards. With that said, when you have a commander that might be drawing you eight cards every time it hits the battlefield, it probably only takes one cast to get your graveyard to the point that it's triggering Starving RevenantStarving Revenant. Combine that with it being its own card draw spell, and this is probably going to end up being one of the best cards in our deck. If you're thinking, "Wait, I need to cast my commander twice and find folks that have less life than me, twice, just for this card to be playable?" I totally get your skepticism. But look at the payoff here: you play down your commander, switch life totals with an opponent to give them your 50 life and take their 30 life. You then draw 20 cards and go to end step, discarding 13 of them and turning on Revenant. When you get back to your turn, you draw a card, and drain the table for one. You then play two of the blink spells you drew the turn before, swapping back from your 31 to the opponent's 49, and then swap back again to draw 18, draining the table for 18 and having the larger life total once again so you can keep on drawing cards and draining the table.

Does all that seem like Magical Christmas-Land? Yeah, for sure. But when you draw 20 cards, in my experience, Magical Christmas-Land becomes reality.

4. Starscream, Power HungryStarscream, Power Hungry

(Helms 1,506 Decks, Rank #1,054; 15,850 Inclusions, 0.46% of 3,475,874 Decks)

In a chorus that's included every card so far but Starving RevenantStarving Revenant, I'd like to make clear that I think StarscreamStarscream is a terrible card. It asks you to pay three mana to make an opponent the monarch, then flips the next turn when you actually get the monarch back, now that the whole rest of the table has probably drawn an extra card from it. Then, now that Starscream is tapped so you could attack in again, it lets you hit target opponent for two when you draw your monarch card before it gets taken back and you have to start all over again. Woohoo.

All that said? This ludicrously slow card's payoff, combined with our commander? Well, it straight-up ends games. If we can manage to get through the whole rigmarole of playing down and flipping Starscream and then play Mister Negative while he's flipped? That math goes something like this: we, the life-gain deck, swap life totals with the lowest life total at the table, going to 28 from our 45 and drawing 17 cards. We then hand out 32 points of life loss to the table while we do whatever nonsense our new hand drew us, which likely results in us gaining a whole bunch of life and getting to do our commander's ETB again. Oh, hey, look, that guy we just swapped life totals with now only has 7 life to our 28+, meaning we can draw 21+ cards and hit the table for 42 or more! Neat!

3. Gixian PuppeteerGixian Puppeteer

(34,236 Inclusions, 0.98% of 3,475,874 Decks)

Unfortunately, after our brief foray into the world of bad cards that are amazing with a commander that can routinely draw 20 cards, we're snapped back to yet another "on your second draw" trigger that just doesn't do that much. With that said, Gixian PuppeteerGixian Puppeteer is a good card by itself, which makes it at least worth consideration, especially since we're a life-gain deck anyhow. The real question is, are there any three-cost creatures that are worth reviving that fit in with what our deck is trying to do?

Top 10 Three-Mana-or-Less Orzhov Creatures With a Flicker or Reanimate ETB

1. Charming PrinceCharming Prince
2. FlickerwispFlickerwisp
3. Samwise the StoutheartedSamwise the Stouthearted
4. Distinguished ConjurerDistinguished Conjurer
5. Guardian of GhirapurGuardian of Ghirapur
6. Fortune, Loyal SteedFortune, Loyal Steed
7. Vizier of DefermentVizier of Deferment
8. ...

In short, it's not an overwhelming amount, but yes. There are more than a couple creatures designed to abuse enter-the-battlefield triggers with blink effects that will be inherently good in our deck, which is bound to be built around ETBs and Soul SistersSoul Sisters, at the very least. In other words, we'll take the incidental life-gain that Puppeteer provides, but only because it comes tied with recursion.

2. Sheoldred, the ApocalypseSheoldred, the Apocalypse

(Helms 10,108 Decks, Rank #136; 182,944 Inclusions, 5.26% of 3,475,874 Decks)

If there was a card that sprang to everyone's mind when I laid out this list, it was probably Sheoldred, the ApocalypseSheoldred, the Apocalypse, and for good reason. We're a life-gain deck that wants to draw a lot of cards while also ticking down the rest of the table. Check, check, check, Sheoldred cares about all of those things. In short, there's probably not a better card to have out when resolving our commander. Sheoldred will instantly take our life total we just switched and put it back to double where it was, so that we can use our commander again instantly to draw more cards. Our main problem is going to be keeping our card draw shenanigans under enough control so that we can remember to actually lower life totals to zero and attempt to win the game at some point.

1. Psychosis CrawlerPsychosis Crawler

(191,216 Inclusions, 2.78% of 6,878,850 Decks)

And that's where our number one card comes in! While not as big a life swing as either Starving RevenantStarving Revenant or Starscream, Power HungryStarscream, Power Hungry, Psychosis CrawlerPsychosis Crawler is a lot more business-like. No frills, no side quests, no hoops to jump through, Crawler just says if you draw a card, your opponent's life total goes down by one. That math is the easiest to do of all of these with Mister Negative's ETB: ynou and the opponent that you switched with now have the same, lower life total. The only difference is, you're up 10-30 cards, where they're in the same state they were!

Honorable Mentions

Given that we only had 11 cards total that met our criteria today, it would be a shame to not go over the last, even though we're not planning on playing it. Which, if we were in different colors, wouldn't be the case! Moonring MirrorMoonring Mirror interacts with Mister NegativeMister Negative by putting a horde of exile triggers on the stack that take place after you've drawn your full grip. That means that in a world where you're playing Mister Negative and blue, it would be fairly trivial to translate a couple Negative triggers into a win with Thassa's OracleThassa's Oracle, Laboratory ManiacLaboratory Maniac, or Jace, Wielder of MysteriesJace, Wielder of Mysteries. In fact, I'm sure there are cEDH brewers who tried this exact line with Praetor's GraspPraetor's Grasp and the like.

For me personally, though? I'm glad that this is kind of a clunky thing that can't be relied upon. Mister Negative is an exciting casual card that does a silly thing in paying a bunch of mana to draw a bunch of cards, and it's fun that we get to build around that and find a way to win with the deck that feels like it fits with that theme. That's the above cards in our list to a T, not this Moonring Mirror "double it up and then win the same way every blue deck does" nonsense. So, let's bring it down a couple brackets and see what we've got, shall we?

If I had any doubts about what we were doing with our list here today, they went away the moment I started testing out Mister NegativeMister Negative. Resolving him always seems to result in double-digit numbers of cards, given our ability to gain life, but afterwards, things can get a bit awkward as the table turns on you. That can mean claiming back your old superior life total with a blink effect, which is a fine panic button to hit if you need to, but do you know what's even better? Just as soon as you resolve Mister Negative, someone automatically having a lower life total than you because you also had a StarscreamStarscream or SheoldredSheoldred online. That lets you roll right into your blink nonsense to draw even more cards, and before long you're just deleting players out of the game while simultaneously praying that none of the remaining ones have a Lightning BoltLightning Bolt to sweep it out from underneath you at the last moment.

Nuts and Bolts

There always seems to be a bit of interest in how these lists are made (this seems like a good time to stress once again that they are based on EDHREC score, NOT my personal opinion…), and people are often surprised that I’m not using any special data or .json from EDHREC, but rather just muddling my way through with some Scryfall knowledge! For your enjoyment/research, here is this week’s Scryfall search.

What Do You Think?

We set out today to do something unique with an Orzhov commander, and... I'm not sure that we succeeded? What we ended up with was a life-gain deck--the most Orzhov thing you can do--combined with a Blink deck, which while not something you see very often in these colors, is nonetheless a pretty common genre of deck. Which begs the question:

And finally, what is your favorite card that triggers on draw? Are you throwing it in a Mister NegativeMister Negative brew?

Let us know in the comments, and we'll see you at the black? White? Table.