Top 10 Red ETB Creatures

by
DougY
DougY
Top 10 Red ETB Creatures
(Norin, Swift Survivalist | Art by Yigit Koroglu)

Run, Norin, Run!

Welcome to Too-Specific Top 10, where if there isn’t a category to rank our pet card at the top of, we’ll just make one up! (Did you know that Frantic Scapegoat is the only one-mana red creature with an enter the battlefield ability that grants menace?)

On first read, the new Norin reads a lot like the old Norin. Not because the words are similar, but because they both make you think "what on earth would you do with this?"

On second read, however, I realized that Norin, Swift Survivalist is an aggro commander. Let me explain.

Simply put, Norin says "whenever one of your creatures is blocked, you may exile it, and replay it this turn."

Well, what kind of creatures would you want to do that with? Obviously, creatures with enter-the-battlefield abilities.

Top 10 Red "Enters" Creatures

  1. Solemn Simulacrum
  2. [REDACTED] (On actual list)
  3. Imperial Recruiter
  4. Terror of the Peaks
  5. Dualcaster Mage
  6. Purphoros, God of the Forge
  7. Meteor Golem
  8. Myr Battlesphere
  9. [REDACTED] (On actual list)
  10. Witty Roastmaster

Only, this list doesn't work with Norin, does it? Sad Robot only gets half of its value, as it never dies, and costs so much that you're also unlikely to recast it.

Dualcaster Mage wants to do broken combos with Twinflame, but Norin wants to operate off of creatures, not spells.

Meteor Golem costs seven mana, whether you're casting it from hand or from exile.

Ditto for Myr Battlesphere.

As for the rest, they're on the list of "engines that will go nuts if we're casting and recasting a bunch of creatures", but what we're missing is the cheap creatures that we can be casting and recasting.

So, what is there out there that we could get down early, take advantage of an ETB trigger, and then be swinging in so often with that folks had to block them so we could continue to abuse said ETBs?

Top 10 Cheap Red "Enters" Creatures

First off, an issue: Not all ETB abilities work all that well with Norin.

On first read, all of these ETBs that pump creatures look quite good with Norin. You play them down, they make your creatures bigger, you swing in with your bigger creatures, they get blocked, then you replay them and the creatures get even bigger!

Are you seeing the issue here? If we're an aggro deck, what do we care how big our creatures are, temporarily, after combat? Even worse, these cards incentivize you to cast them before combat, making it more likely that you're putting yourself in the trap of attacking in with a lot of stuff, having it all get blocked, and then not having the mana to recast it all.

In other words, we're going to need to weed them out.

Lastly, I had originally thought that we'd include creatures that can be our engines on this list, the creatures that trigger on other creatures entering, instead of on themselves.

The problem there is, there are very few cheap creatures that do this, and the most prominent of them is Marauding Raptor, which... is more than a bit of a nonbo with what we're trying to do here.

Criteria: Creatures within the red color identity who cost two mana or less and have a self-triggered enter the battlefield ability that does something other than temporarily pump creatures. As is tradition, all results are ordered by EDHREC score.

The rest looks good, however, so let's take a look at the list!

10. Wily Goblin

(10,825 Inclusions, 0% of 2,204,708 Decks)

If I'm honest, I've never really been a fan of Wily Goblin, even before it got power-crept by the next card on our list. I was originally thinking that it still made the cut here, but honestly, the thing that really hurts it is the one power.

Stacking up Treasures is all well and good, but at a rate of a Treasure every other turn for two mana that is likely to just attack on through for one rather than actually get you the Treasure? This just isn't worth doing.

9. Charming Scoundrel

(11,788 Inclusions, 1% of 1,475,950 Decks)

Luckily, Wily Goblin got an upgrade! While I usually lament power creep, in this instance I think it was a good call. Two red pips for a 1/1 that gets you a Treasure was clearly overcosted, and Charming Scoundrel instead gets you haste and options for an easier casting cost.

Particularly vital here, in my opinion, is probably the least used choice on the card: The Wicked Role token.

The Wicked Role should probably be your first choice with Charming Scoundrel most of the time, despite your reflex toward Treasure, and here is why: There's no reason to block a 1/1. In other words, if you get down a Scoundrel and pull the trigger on a Treasure, it is probably late game before anyone decides they need to block your Charming Scoundrel because of pressure on their life total.

With a Wicked Role, however, you threaten a bit more with a 2/2, and ultimately still deal them a damage anyhow when the Role gets put in the graveyard upon block/exile. Something to consider!

8. Cemetery Gatekeeper

(11,999 Inclusions, 1% of 2,204,708 Decks)

Hey, you know how you're always telling yourself to play more graveyard removal? Well, here is the opportunity, the question is whether you'll take it or not.

Don't get me wrong, removing a single card for two mana is not sexy, but the chip damage that comes with it is going to accomplish the aggro plan, as is the 2/1 first striking body. In short, Cemetery Gatekeeper may not be sexy, but it is smart.

7. Voldaren Epicure

(15,594 Inclusions, 1% of 2,204,708 Decks)

Everyone's (former) favorite end to a Dockside Loop, Voldaren Epicure is also just a solid creature in its own right. One damage on entering, a Blood token for when you have mana and a card sitting around later, and a 1/1 body on rate.

I doubt you'll get that many blocks to recast him, but we're going to be instituting some pump effects with all these weenies, so it'll happen eventually!

6. Goblin Recruiter

(25,248 Inclusions, 1% of 2,204,708 Decks)

Obviously, Goblin Recruiter is very good. Considering we're not going to be doing Snoop Combo here, however, I do wonder if we actually have targets that we care about?

Well, to answer that question, four out of the five cards left on this list are Goblins. So, let's put the question off for now, and take a look at what those search targets are, shall we?

5. Goblin Instigator

(27,986 Inclusions, 1% of 2,204,708 Decks)

Well, I don't think we're going to be going out of our way to search up a Goblin Instigator, although we'll certainly be playing it.

Sure, the token gets blocked first, and it disappears. Eventually the Instigator will get blocked as well, however, and then we'll get to immediately recast it for another token.

That might not seem worth it on the first or second try, but on the fourth and fifth repetition, it's going to be more than just annoying for your opponents.

4. Mogg War Marshal

(29,901 Inclusions, 1% of 2,204,708 Decks)

Mogg War Marshal is usually referred to as better than Goblin Instigator, and the numbers here back that up, but I think we might have found a corner case.

You see, in order to be repeatedly abused by Norin, a creature has to attack. And to attack, said creature either has to have haste, or to live long enough to see a combat step without summoning sickness.

Now, as a mono-red Aggro deck, we might look into some Fervor effects, but even in that case... Say you attack with a hasty Mogg War Marshal, and it gets blocked.

That's two unlikely things that just happened, and what are you rewarded with?

A second Goblin token you were going to get anyway, and the opportunity to pay two mana to get two more before Echo crops up again on the end step.

Put simply, if we're not playing Krenko's Command, then I don't think we're playing Mogg War Marshal.

3. Dire Fleet Daredevil

(43,508 Inclusions, 2% of 2,204,708 Decks)

So, here's the problem with Aggro decks, from 40-card to 60-card to EDH: They curve out over the early turns of the game, play out their whole hand, deal a bunch of damage, and then if their opponents aren't dead, they get board-wiped or board-stalled and lose several turns later to a deck that still has resources.

Well, may I introduce Dire Fleet Daredevil, a card that allows you to grab some of that opponent's spent resources while still providing a relevant body for combat? And oh look, it's more of that graveyard removal you say you should be playing, to boot!

2. Goblin Engineer

(80,724 Inclusions, 4% of 2,204,708 Decks)

All right, we're not going to be searching up Goblin Instigator with Goblin Recruiter, but we might just search up Goblin Engineer with it!

Now, normally I'm not a fan of the "tutor for your tutor" nonsense, but Goblin Engineer can go get a ton of impactful, cheap artifacts that will give Norin an engine to work with.

If and when we get the Aggro gameplan going, the amount of creatures going to exile and back will supercharge Genesis Chamber, giving us Myr after Myr down to swing in with.

Not only that, the Myr it gives our opponents are just extra small bodies to chump block with, further aiding our game plan. As for Molten Gatekeeper, it's just one of many Impact Tremors we're going to be playing to ensure we can win stalled-out board states, only its Unearth ability allows us to search it up and have the effect for a single turn for a single mana, all without having to wait for Goblin Engineer's summoning sickness to wear off.

Finally, Hero's Blade might seem a bit out of place, but Norin's effect notably includes himself, so having a repeatable means to make him large so that folks will block him and get your triggers going, rather than let him swing in for a pittance, is pretty great.

1. Dockside Extortionist

(347,035 Inclusions, 16% of 2,204,708 Decks)

Who are we kidding though, if you're going to search up a Goblin with Goblin Recruiter, it's going to be Dockside Extortionist.

In fact, the dividing line for "good" Norin decks will sadly probably be whether or not they include Dockside and a means to go grab it, which is why I am heartily endorsing not doing that.

Save your $100 bill and end up with a more interesting deck that isn't just all about tutoring up your Dockside before your opponent tutors up theirs.

It's almost like there's an exact category of bans the Rules Committee has made that talks about cards that warp the format entirely around themselves that this could go under. But what do I know? Edit: The writer of this article now knows that the RC was serious about that. Huh!


Honorable Mentions

With the recent banning of Dockside, Norin is now fun by default, and it feels like we could use more cards that fit that bill. So, with that in mind, let's take a look at what got pushed off our list, shall we?

Top 25 Cheap Red ETB Creatures

11. Flamekin Harbinger
12. Dune Mover
13. Assaultron Dominator
14. Gibbering Fiend
15. Phyrexian Dreadnought
16. Amped Raptor
17. Bloodthirsty Adversary
18. Insufferable Balladeer
19. Scrapwork Mutt
20. Exuberant Fuseling
21. Vexing Devil
22. Epochrasite
23. Abbot of Keral Keep
24. Immersturm Raider
25. Stingscourger

I really thought about pushing the criteria this week to try and get Flamekin Harbinger in, because for being discount Goblin Recruiter, it still packs a lot of impact without making the game feel silly for having been played at all.

Why? Well, because it can go get one of any several Elementals that do really dumb things in this deck: Life of the Party, Grinning Ignus, Flamekin Herald, Cinder Pyromancer, and probably best of all, Runaway Steam-Kin.

None of those win the game outright, but there's definitely some solid tool-boxing to be done here.

As for the rest of the list, pickings are a bit slimmer, but there's still some solid includes.

Epochrasite usually feels like a "what is it all for" kind of card, but here it's a cheap creature that comes down early and often, and ends up huge on the various recasts from exile, whether that be from Suspend or from your commander. Solid.

Lastly, Abbot of Keral Keep feels a bit subpar in a deck that isn't going to really be doing much with its Prowess, but don't let that stop you: If there's anything every Aggro deck needs, it's a means to draw cards attached to a creature with a good body, and that's Abbot of Keral Keep in spades.

Speaking of things this deck needs, right now we have a lot of creatures that will reward us when they get blocked, but not a lot of creatures that our opponents will actually have a reason to block.

With that in mind:

Top 10 Cheap Red Creatures With Combat Damage Triggers

  1. Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer
  2. Grenzo, Havoc Raiser
  3. Komainu Battle Armor
  4. Gimli of the Glittering Caves
  5. Moria Marauder
  6. Varchild, Betrayer of Kjeldor
  7. Stromkirk Occultist
  8. Subira, Tulzidi Caravanner
  9. Arcbound Slith
  10. Spark Mage

With us being a bit short on card advantage in a strategy that needs as much as it can get stapled to aggro, there's a plethora of options to draw more cards here if people are dumb enough to not block them.

And if they do? Well, sounds like an Agate Instigator trigger to me!

Which just leaves us our list! Let's take a look!

I can hear the questions already about the weird Suspend package, so let me explain:

Flamekin Herald. In short, we expect to be casting and recasting our commander a lot, and that makes Flamekin Herald a really good resource for pulling out zero-cost cards out of our deck.

I originally went with the typical Ornithopter Memnite package to take advantage of that, but figured ramp, card draw in the form of Wheel of Fate, and Rograkh, Son of Rohgahh to do dumb (yet non-infinite) things with Cloudstone Curio would be better than the more classic zero-cost artifact creatures.

As for the rest of the deck, it was a blast to create, and even more fun to play. Having a one-cost commander feels amazing, and his two damage a turn adds up quick.

Between that and his ability being a bit of an unexpected spice, don't be too shocked when folks start removing him, outside of combat.


Nuts and Bolts

There always seems to be a bit of interest in how these lists are made (this seems like a good time to stress once again that they are based on EDHREC score, NOT my personal opinion…), and people are often surprised that I’m not using any special data or .json from EDHREC, but rather just muddling my way through with some Scryfall knowledge!

For your enjoyment/research, here is this week’s Scryfall search.


What Do You Think?

I've said a lot today, but I'm sure the thing that's already rocking down in the comment section is about my Dockside Extortionist comments, which turned out to be just a little bit prophetic, or would have been had we published a few days earlier. As it is, let's instead try to capture some data on where people are at with Dockside, in light of the recent banning:

 

And finally, what would be your strategy with Norin, Swift Survivalist? Do you think he's more or less interesting that his old version? What enter the battlefield abilities did I miss?

Let us know in the comments, and we'll see you at the table that appears to be... making its way toward the exit?


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Doug has been an avid Magic player since Fallen Empires, when his older brother traded him some epic blue Homarids for all of his Islands. As for Commander, he's been playing since 2010, when he started off by making a two-player oriented G/R Land Destruction deck. Nailed it. In his spare time when he's not playing Magic, writing about Magic or doing his day job, he runs a YouTube channel or two, keeps up a College Football Computer Poll, and is attempting to gif every scene of the Star Wars prequels.

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