FireballFireball | Art by Mark Tedin

Welcome to Too-Specific Top 10, where if there isn’t a category to rank our pet card at the top of, we’ll just make one up! (Did you know that Aeve, Progenitor OozeAeve, Progenitor Ooze is the only legendary card with storm?)

Magic: The Gathering is a complicated card game. There are, however, some cards that take it to the next level. No card explains that better at a glance than the Beatdown Box Set version of FireballFireball.

While I sympathize with the (probable) mathematician who suggested this X divided by Y templating, and actually do find it easier to understand, I also understand why we never saw this particular version again.

With that said, it's not like we're not trying to lean into the math of it all, right?

Quandrix, the green-blue house of Strixhaven University, specializes in math. This has led to a lot of math-themed cards, but most of them aren't actually that much of a mental workload, just more of a shout-out. While I'm sure there's more equations and expressions coming in Secrets of Strixhaven, I was actually surprised to see that Quandrix doesn't even come close to the complexity of some of the cards that have come before. Specifically, the ones that come with their own built-in variables: Storm and X cards.

So, why don't we take a look at what cards really get the brain wrinkling and doing some mental arithmetic?

For my money, the place to find these cards are in the two mechanics that start you off with a built-in variable: X costs and storm.

Still, two variables? Two steps? We can do better.

Top 10 Math Equations Disguised as Magic Cards

Criteria: Cards featuring either an X cost or storm that have three or more steps or variables as part of figuring out its resolution. As is tradition, all results are ordered by EDHREC score. I will also do my best to express things as a mathematical equation because it is fun, and you will yell at me in the comments for not even getting it close to right. Let's proceed.

10. Meteor ShowerMeteor Shower: 2x = x+1/n

(2.76k Inclusions, 0.07% of 4.11M Decks)

It's clear what the designers of Ice Age intended with Meteor ShowerMeteor Shower: a fixed version of FireballFireball. With that said, I don't think they succeeded. First off, the primary use of Fireball has always been to hit a single target for a huge amount of damage, a task at which Meteor Shower fails completely. Pumping 11 mana into a Fireball hits a target for 10 damage. Doing the same with Meteor Shower deals six. But that wasn't the design intent it was trying to fix: it was trying to be better at hitting several targets. So how does Meteor Shower stack up to Fireball there?

Well, for two targets and 11 mana, to use our earlier number, Fireball deals five damage to the two targets. Meteor Shower deals one to five damage to the two targets, split up however you like, so long as it adds up to six. Go up to three targets, and Fireball deals three damage to each of them, where Meteor Shower can split the same six damage between all three however you choose.

In other words? Meteor Shower is a Swiss Army Knife. It's versatile, but at the end of the day? It's a terrible knife.

9. MathemagicsMathemagics: 2x = 2˟

(2.76k Inclusions, 0.07% of 4.11M Decks)

I always know I've created a humdinger of a list when I hit new cards that aren't actually out yet. MathemagicsMathemagics isn't honestly all the complicated, although it does result in an unbalanced equation. What it is, and what the designers were going for with it, is elegant. As for when it's actually good? I don't think ever? Two mana to draw one card would be behind rate even as an instant, much less a sorcery. Four mana for two is also behind rate. The card really kicks in at the 2³ spot, paying eight mana for eight cards, but now you're paying enough mana to just win the game with other cards out there. That said, if you're gonna make a point of it all, then paying 10 for 16 is a deal you're not going to get anywhere else, to say nothing of 12 for 32, 14 for 64, or the game-winning-if-you-already-have-a-Laboratory ManiacLaboratory Maniac 16 for 128.

Thankfully, with the 100-card limit in Commander, we won't have to extend too far past your knowledge of Nintendo-based binary numbers.

8. Winter's ChillWinter's Chill: x<=s, THEN x(1 OR 2)

(2.76k Inclusions, 0.07% of 4.11M Decks)

Despite the meme, Winter's ChillWinter's Chill is actually not that complex compared to some of the other cards on our list, either. That is, if you can get through that convoluted paragraph of text. Here, let's take a look at the Oracle wording instead:

Cast this spell only during combat before blockers are declared.

X can’t be greater than the number of snow lands you control.

Choose X target attacking creatures. For each of those creatures, its controller may pay {1} or {2}. If that player doesn’t, destroy that creature at end of combat. If that player pays only {1}, prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to and dealt by that creature this combat.

Okay, so: You target X attacking creatures, which has to be less than the amount of snow lands you control, and your opponent can pay zero, one, or two for each targeted creature. If they pay zero, that creature gets deleted (after it deals its damage). If they pay one, that creature is essentially pulled out of combat, not giving or receiving any damage. And if they pay two, then the creature acts normally.

All right, we've explained the card three times. Now, be honest: are you confident you'd know what to pay if presented with this?

7. Eiganjo UprisingEiganjo Uprising: x + n(x-1)

(6.51k Inclusions, 0.34% of 1.94M Decks)

My initial read of Eiganjo UprisingEiganjo Uprising just makes me want to cast it for one, both for the memes and for the look of disappointment on my opponents' faces as they read the card and realize they get something, except they don't because I decided to be a jerk and get myself a Gray OgreGray Ogre with menace and haste instead of doing it big.

That said, the math on this is actually more complex than it appears if you decide to pay a bit more into X. The reason is your Samurai gaining menace until end of turn, meaning your opponents have to block your Samurai with two of theirs, and they started out with one less to begin with, but also there are three opponents... and my head already hurts. Luckily, math is for blockers, right?

Nah, that'd be a copout. Here's a table for all of that nonsense:

The math continues like this on into infinity, but just keep in mind, this assumes you're attacking one player. In the case that you're trying to alpha strike the table, this doesn't work, as you're creating 3(x-1) Samurai blockers for each Samurai you make, meaning you're outnumbered as soon as x=2.

In other words? Card's kinda bad in multiplayer, but you do you, boo boo.

6. Aeve, Progenitor OozeAeve, Progenitor Ooze: Copies = n; Total Power = n(n+3)/2

(Helms 5,913 Decks, Rank #411; 9.94k Inclusions, 0.26% of 3.85M Decks)

Do you know what card is also bad, but is worth doing anyhow? Aeve, Progenitor OozeAeve, Progenitor Ooze, one of my favorite cards of all time. It's also one of the hardest cards in the game to resolve without outside aids, so bring your copy tokens and lots of dice! As for how to resolve it, you plop down copies equal to the amount of spells cast this turn on top of the original, then just go down the line and count the counters out. Zero on the first copy, one on the next, two on the one after that, three on the fourth, and so on, until you arrive at the original, which gets the full number of counters equal to the amount of spells cast before Aeve this turn. Of course, all that math assumes that you didn't have Oozes to begin with, a prospect that is unlikely for decks with Aeve at the helm.

Math aside, however, there are few cards as fun to resolve as a big Aeve. Storm in general can be a blast, but having it stick around and be a huge group of threats and sacrificial lambs? That's just music to my heart. Now, could you be doing something else with these 10 spells and 20 mana that actually wins you the game? Almost certainly, but what would be the fun in that?

5. Exponential GrowthExponential Growth: 2x = 2˟

(19.9k Inclusions, 0.52% of 3.85M Decks)

Now, I'm as big a fan of how neat, both in idea and execution, both Exponential GrowthExponential Growth and MathemagicsMathemagics are. But really, Wizards? You did the same card twice for Quandrix, and you thought we wouldn't notice?

Jokes aside, I think I get it. The hammer probably didn't hit quite hard enough with Exponential Growth for some folks, and how many times do you get the opportunity to put unabashed Math on a Magic card, and then call it just that? Honestly, this doesn't get points for complexity, in the same way Exponential Growth doesn't, but all in all? This is one of my favorite sets of cards.

Still, what do we gotta do to get x˟ next time, mathemagicians?

4. Finale of PromiseFinale of Promise: i<=x AND/OR s<=x; IF x=>10, 2(i<=x) AND/OR 2(s<=x)

(26.7k Inclusions, 0.64% of 4.15M Decks)

Finale of PromiseFinale of Promise is both one of the simplest cards on this list, and yet one of the more complex. First off, the biggest way I see this misplayed is people assuming that both cards added together have to be for X or less, when in actuality it's both cards just have to individually be for X or less. For instance, if X is three, you can cast both a two-mana instant and a three-mana sorcery. Mostly, though, this one is fairly straightforward despite giving flashbacks to your computer class's AND OR gates. The added wrinkle of copying the spells if X is ten or more is honestly the only reason this made the list, and even then I was a bit dubious. Ultimately, what sold it was writing the whole expression out.

As for how good the card is? Very. In fact, in high-level play I often see spellslinger decks looping this, as it can be fairly efficient with cost-reducers or by flashing back rituals, and it doesn't exile itself on resolution. In other words? If you can get a card draw spell and a ritual both with this, and have a way to cast or copy it again, it's likely that you can loop this over and over again as you draw more cards and make more mana. AKA, everything a spellslinger deck wants to be doing.

3. DoppelgangDoppelgang: 3x = x˟

(46k Inclusions, 2.47% of 1.86M Decks)

Well, I asked for x˟, and little did I know, they gave it to us two years ago. Neat!

DoppelgangDoppelgang is yet another brain-wrinkler. Or it would be, except it pretty much never gets resolved. means even getting this out for one costs five when you include the , with that number moving to eight for an X of two, and breaking the ten mark for any numbers bigger than that as it moves up by three for each additional value of X. All of that to say: this is a really cool card that you really have to go out of your way to abuse, once again in a fashion where you'd probably be better off doing something else entirely that will just win you the game.

Still, if you sat down to a game of casual Commander, you already said that you're not doing the best things you could be to win the game. So take the chance, and do something cool with Doppelganger already!

2. Crackle with PowerCrackle with Power: 3x = 5x(x)

(98.6k Inclusions, 2.38% of 4.15M Decks)

When Crackle with PowerCrackle with Power was first spoiled, I made a chart that I still reference to this day:

Honestly, though, I think this was the wrong way to understand things. If you actually go off of just the X value and then remind yourself that you have to also pay for the , things are a lot simpler. If X is five, then you have to pay 3x, or 15 mana, which then results in 5x, or 25 damage, to your five targets.

Regardless if you have to get a calculator out to figure out how much the table is dead by, however, I was right about one thing in my set review for the original Strixhaven: Crackle with PowerCrackle with Power is the best "I have a lot of red mana and not enough dead opponents" card out there. Period.

1. Shatterskull SmashingShatterskull Smashing: (x/y + x/z) IF x>6, (2x/y + 2x/z)

(99.5k Inclusions, 2.40% of 4.15M Decks)

Have you ever signed up for something, and realized when you were already too far along to get out of it that it was way more than you bargained for? That's what being a kids soccer coach and Shatterskull SmashingShatterskull Smashing are both like. You think that you're just gonna have a land drop, hang out with your kid while they're getting some exercise, and the next thing you know, you're neck-deep in soccer strategy, plays the kids will never actually do, and you're also somehow in charge of mediating the surprisingly aggressive snack-and-oranges schedule that is always a last minute "oh, crap".

Of course, all that is because you weren't expecting there to be math. Once you actually read the card, read it again, and realize what it does, it's actually very simple: X needs to add up to the toughness of the two creatures you want to kill. If that's a 4/2 and a 3/3, you need X to be 5. If it's a 5/5 and a 4/7, then X actually only needs to be six, as it will get multiplied by two to be the 12 damage you need.

Most times, though? It's not even that complicated. Just keep an orange slicer in a tupperware in the back of the car, make sure all the kids get playing time, and show up. By which, I of course mean: Use Shatterskull Smashing like we use FireballFireball 99% of the time, and just nuke a single target off the board.

Honorable Mentions

Not much time left today, with all this math talk, but I did want to cover one card:

Uncage the MenagerieUncage the Menagerie isn't complicated, from a math standpoint. It's essentially just x². From a play standpoint, however, I can't count the number of times I saw someone play this for the first time and go "all right, X is seven and you guys are screwed now!", only to realize they only had two seven-drops in their deck total, and they still had to play both of them. No, the most broken thing to do with Menagerie is to go get two- and three-drops. If you're in Selesnya, there's even a two-card infinite mana combo you can go get with it in Devoted DruidDevoted Druid and Vizier of RemediesVizier of Remedies!

Nuts and Bolts

There always seems to be a bit of interest in how these lists are made (this seems like a good time to stress once again that they are based on EDHREC score, NOT my personal opinion…), and people are often surprised that I’m not using any special data or .json from EDHREC, but rather just muddling my way through with some Scryfall knowledge! For your enjoyment/research, here is this week’s Scryfall search.

What Do You Think?

And finally, what is your favorite equation-on-a-card? Does it read like one, or is it a bit more subtle?

Let us know in the comments, and we'll see you at the table that seems to be made up of an infinite amount of smaller tables?