Twitching DollTwitching Doll | Art By John Tedrick

Hello Everyone! I’m Levi from The Thought Vessel and today we are tackling a spooky season topic. We're looking at the scariest commanders in all of Commander.

For this particular list, there are bonus points for the flavor or mechanic of the card being scary, but ultimately we're focused on the art from the set over everything, so the list is looking for flair over function.

There might be some commanders on this list that may not play as strong as others, but make up for it by being flat out disturbing. Granted, there are a lot of creepy cards in this game, especially in the early years, but these are the ones that I find especially spooky.

Here are my top twelve scariest commanders to play against.

12) Valgavoth, Terror EaterValgavoth, Terror Eater

Starting off, we have the Big Bad from Duskmourn: House of Horror. The winding staircases, the red-glowing doorways, everything you see is a part of this Elder Demon’s domain, giving off an aura of inevitability and despair, leading us to believe that there is simply no escape.

Though it has a pricey mana value at nine, this legend also backs up its image by packing quite a punch.

The theme of this card is using our own resources against us. In other words, we are our own worst enemy, as the vehicle of our destruction is the one we brought with us. Every time a card of ours is put into the graveyard, the Valgavoth player can cast it. How do they pay the cost? With their life total.

We might think that isn’t too bad of a tradeoff since it would make Valgavoth more vulnerable, until we realize that Valgavoth is a 9/9 with flying and lifelink. This means the life that they're using to cast our spells against us is actually our own.

11) Juri, Master of the RevueJuri, Master of the Revue

There's something about a ringleader in clown makeup of a chaotic murder circus that's simply unsettling. Dmitry Burmak, the artist for this card, does a fantastic job encapsulating the chaos that is the Rakdos cult.

Juri himself has a look of anger and madness, twirling a flame-lit chain in the background. Behind him we see fire-spitting members of Rakdos and even demons, almost like an entrance to Hell can be found on Ravnica.

Even with all the chaos and destruction, Juri’s hand is outstretched towards us, inviting us in if we dare. This is an invitation I would not accept.

The card itself is very performative and flavorful on its own. Juri wants to sacrifice a lot of things to grow stronger until the grand finale: dying himself and sending a giant wave of damage at any target. It’s quite appropriate for a monomer of a murder circus.

10) Karazikar, the Eye TyrantKarazikar, the Eye Tyrant

Now, Beholders are generally some creepy creatures in the world of Magic and Dungeons and Dragons. These flying, one-eyed, tentacle-covered monsters are strange enough on their own, looking like a cross between an inflamed tonsil and a basketball with teeth, but the artist Jason A. Engle decided that direct eye contact with the player was the way to go.

It’s like a sci-fi Mona Lisa, the eye follows you around the room. It’s unsettling.

Karazikar puts that one eye (not including the several eyes on the end of the tentacles…) to use by goading creatures across the board and getting these new minions to do the attacking for them while making a card advantage profit at the same time. It really plays into the spirit of mind control taking the autonomy away from its prey - or rather its opponents. 

9) Braids, Cabal MinionBraids, Cabal Minion

Speaking of eyes, Braids, Cabal MinionBraids, Cabal Minion is next on our list at number nine with one of the creepiest stares in all of Magic. This mono-black legendary creature is fresh off the ban list and into my nightmares.

The funny part of this card is there isn’t anything else in the picture that is really intimidating or spooky. There are some rocks and trees next to a stream. It honestly looks like something anyone would come across on a hike or a walk on a nature trail. It’s just those damn crazy eyes.

The card itself can be intimidating to play against as well. Unless we’re playing a token deck, keeping ahead of the curve of sacrificing an artifact, creature, or land every turn could be quite the challenge - especially if we get off to a slow start in the game. 

8) Emrakul, the Promised EndEmrakul, the Promised End

The Eldrazi are generally some creepy looking creatures. They have their spawn in masses, and massive titan-sized enemies that can destroy whole cities.

The alien appearances of these creatures make them pretty creepy to both look at and play against. With most Eldrazi Titans looking more humanoid, Emrakul as a flying spaghetti monster is definitely the most intimidating. Emrakul, the Promised EndEmrakul, the Promised End really shows off the power and size of these creatures, as it appears somewhat far away, yet its tentacles completely cover and overwhelm a city on Innistrad.

On top of looking the part, it also plays the part of an all-powerful villain. This is a 13/13 flying, trampling creature with protection from instants that gets to hijack a player for a whole turn when it's cast.

Anyone that's been targeted with a MindslaverMindslaver knows exactly how devastating being controlled for one turn can actually be.

7) Grimgrin, Corpse-BornGrimgrin, Corpse-Born

The specific version of this card I'm referring to is from Innistrad Remastered. Most Zombies in Magic are your typical skin-and-bones walking skeleton type of creature like we see in comic books or movies. Not Grimgrin, though. This is a decaying, bloated monster covered in spikes and chains.

Grimgrin doesn't have a left arm; it was replaced a little above the elbow with a weapon for destruction. A gruesome detail about this Zombie is that many of the chains and spikes Grimgrin has aren't being worn but are attached directly into its flesh. There are chains hanging off of Grimgrin’s chest holding a skull like a demented piercing, and there are spikes that have been nailed or pierced directly into Grimgrin’s body. It’s gruesome to look at.

Grimgrin also plays as a very scary commander, providing a Voltron option, sac outlet, and a removal engine at the same time. It can also grow infinitely big with the combination of GravecrawlerGravecrawler and Rooftop StormRooftop Storm.

6) Arabella, Abandoned DollArabella, Abandoned Doll

This perfectly encapsulates the creepy doll genre for Duskmourn. The porcelain doll covered in cracks, yet not broken, stares directly at the player. The army of dolls around Arabella inside of the haunted house combined with the flavor text paints the picture of the unwanted toys like a horror version of Toy Story.

Anyone who has had the pleasure of playing against Arabella in a game truly understands how scary dolls can be. Once an army is built up of smaller creatures with power two or less (the dolls), Arabella drains the table for X where X is the number of these smaller creatures controlled by the Arabella player.

This Toy is incredibly quick, and it plays just as scary as it looks.

5) Grist, the Hunger TideGrist, the Hunger Tide

Whether it’s the regular art or the full art for this planeswalker, it makes my skin crawl. It's a skeleton creature whose flesh is entirely made up of blood-red centipede-looking insects, with a skull with the eye holes without the eyes gives it a humanoid form, but with just enough separation from reality that it appears like a lifeless shell being moved around like a puppet.

As one might expect, this card is ultimately about two things: making more Insects and murder. That murder can be in the form of going after creatures, planeswalkers, or even opponents’ life totals directly.

I want to do everything in my power to leave this planeswalker alone.

4) Mondrak, Glory DominusMondrak, Glory Dominus

One of my favorite artworks of all time is Hallowed FountainHallowed Fountain from Rob Alexander. The artwork depicts a fountain in the middle of the city, similar to something one might see in Rome. Looking at the card further, the details start to tell more of a story. At the base of the fountain, you see the people walking around, revealing that this isn’t a smaller fountain you might run into at a public park, but rather a massive monument to something on Ravnica.

Mondrak is just like that. Touting the typical Elesh NornElesh Norn red and white Phyrexian color scheme, this creature has dozens of mouths, all covered with very sharp teeth, and towers over the building as well as the other Phyrexians turning their backs on the creation.

In the lore, the mouths would sing to compel the living to assimilate to Phyrexia like an evil robot psiren, so naturally the commander cares about building up a massive army. Though this card is typically more known as an include in the 99 of Commander decks, it's definitely a scary commander as well.

3) Shelob, Child of UngoliantShelob, Child of Ungoliant

Of course we have to add a Spider to this list for my fellow arachnophobes. The art itself is impressive: the gigantic Spider with its beady little eyes coming out of a cave whose floor is riddled with the remains of its victims.

But the worst part of this commander for my fellow arachnophobes is that this is a Spider-typal deck. This means the deckbuilder is incentivized to play a bunch of Spider cards that will also consequently depict spider art. Not only will there be Spiders, the Spiders will have ward and deathtouch, meaning Shelob commands attention at the table.

One of the benefits of the Spider-Man set being released is that a lot of these decks are going to dilute the amount of spider art they have with some superheroes. But in the Golgari () color combination, there are still going to be plenty of eight-legged enemies around.

2) The Jolly Balloon ManThe Jolly Balloon Man

If we simply read off what The Jolly Balloon ManThe Jolly Balloon Man does and didn’t know what the artwork was, it would be a different picture in our head. A Clown that makes balloon animals that don’t stick around after the turn is over like balloons do sounds harmless and like a fun and flavorful copy deck.

But when we see the artwork, it’s a completely different story.

For starters, the mask, or rather face, that The Jolly Balloon ManThe Jolly Balloon Man is wearing is spiked into his skull like something we would expect to see on Grimgrin. But what really sells the fear factor is the balloons themselves. Instead of using typical balloons, Jolly here is using people’s faces.

The art shows eleven blown-up head balloons and an additional head balloon cluster, giving the impression that The Jolly Balloon ManThe Jolly Balloon Man is a serial killer taking trophies from its victims. That combination makes for something we might find in a Stephen King novel.

1) Umbris, Fear ManifestUmbris, Fear Manifest (Furby Edition) 

Story time! At MagicCon Atlanta, when the Secret Lair Panel was happening, I was elsewhere in the convention. Naturally, when the Furby Secret Lairs were spoiled, my phone blew up with notifications.

I saw the announcement of the Furby Secret Lair, but none of the cards or art. Imagine my surprise when I looked up the cards later and saw this piece of nightmare fuel. Umbris looks like a standard Furby around the head, but underneath the beak is a giant mouth with sharp teeth connected to a massive snake-like body with a protruding spine down the back.

The fact that this is an actual card that can be purchased is insane. The crazy part is, an Umbris deck can be just as scary as its picture. Getting cards their opponents own into exile isn’t very difficult, and it’s easy to get this commander up over 21 power to start taking players out with a single hit, assuming the milling doesn't get to them first.

This whole situation from the art to actually playing against it is incredibly off-putting. 

Wrapping Up

As you can tell, Duskmourn: House of Horrors definitely gave a lot of help to this list, as one might expect from a horror-themed set. Though it isn’t a legendary creature, Twitching DollTwitching Doll might be one of the most nightmare-inducing cards I've ever seen. A cat doll made up entirely of a bunch of little spiders? How did that get approved???

There are a lot of players in our community that are massive fans of scary movies, spooky literature, and all things creepy. I’m not here to yuck anyone’s yum. In fact, I think it's a great thing that the Commander format can provide something for everyone.

I met a lot of awesome people at MagicCon Atlanta, and each person got something different out of the game. Some people love the art of Magic, for some it was the stories, and others just enjoy playing the game and putting their strategic thinking cap on. At the end of the day, this is a space that can be whatever you make of it.

It’s all about finding what works for you… even if that’s loading up your deck with art that gives your opponents nightmares.

There are plenty of other commanders out there that can give players the creeps. With most spooky things, fear is in the eye of the beholder, literally in the case of number ten on our list. Post a commander you personally get creeped out by that I didn’t mention in the comments below. Until next time, happy brewing!