Birthing PodBirthing Pod | Art by Titus Lunter

Hello, and welcome back to How to Be New, a column that doesn't ask whether we should unban BiorhythmBiorhythm, but a column that instead says, "What's that? Oh, wow. Neat."

Today, I'm here to share some good news: I've finally found my first regular Commander pod. And it has reignited my love for Magic in a major way.

In the past, I had often felt anxious as Commander Night approached, hoping that I'd find good, fun people with good, fun decks to play with. Sometimes I would just decide that I didn't have enough social energy that day to risk a bad situation, and I wouldn't go at all. But now, whether work has been rough, or my decks are still not put together, or my cat simply will not stop throwing up^*, I look forward to Commander night as a reliably bright spot in my week.

*For cat tax purposes, here's Goose, the Oft-Nauseous

I've built as many decks in the past month as I did in the last six months of 2025. I'm reorganizing my whole collection^** in an effort to find new things that I can bring to the table every Wednesday night. I'm more plugged in to the singles in each coming set, and how they could add new, interesting wrinkles to my established decks. I'm having an absolute blast.

And I have even better news: You can find your pod too.

**In other words, there are so many piles and boxes of Magic cards strewn about my office that I've completely lost track of where anything is supposed to go.

Step One: Notice Who You Like Playing With

This seems extremely obvious, but it's such an important point that it bears mentioning. When you're playing games week to week, take note of the people who improve your experience at the table.

Of course, this can mean different things to different people. Some folks like a friendlier, chattier game. Some people like a more competitive environment, with each player ready to fight tooth and nail to claw out a victory. Many will fall somewhere on the spectrum between those two extremes. These are all entirely valid ways to enjoy playing Magic.

Additionally, take some time to vet the decks that these other players like to play. What strategies do they tend to employ? What power level do their decks tend to be? Feel free to ask if you're having trouble figuring it out yourself (do this in every context, in fact; Rule Zero conversations have been proven to result in a 75% increase in game satisfaction according to this stat that I've just made up, but feels true).

Do you mostly play upgraded precons, but they tend to start the night by breaking out Grand Arbiter Augustin IVGrand Arbiter Augustin IV? Do you prefer a more casual game, but they pack their deck with so much removal that games tend to take twice as long as the others around you at the store? Have they ever mentioned the word "StaxStax" to you in a positive light?

If so, maybe they aren't long-term pod material.

Finally, figure out how often they come to Commander Night. Are they a regular enough attendee that it's worth pursuing them for a regular pod? Let me tell you a quick story to illustrate this point.

When I moved to Los Angeles, I went to a Dungeons & Dragons night at the local game store to hopefully make some new friends. I met another guy who played at the same table as me, and we hit it off very quickly. After the session, we went to a bar across the street to chat some more. I got his number and we made vague plans to hang out soon. It was a picturesque first night with a new friend.

I never saw that guy again.

But, when I came back next week, I saw a couple of people who I recognized from the first session (including one who had been goading me into pursuing my dream of a "ska bard"). As the three of us became DnD night regulars, and I hung out with them week to week, they became great friends. They even introduced me to the vastly underrated world of LARP, for which I'm eternally grateful.

So, to reiterate, look for shared values, consistency, and people who make your night better just by being around.

Huh. I didn't realize how much this advice might also be applicable for dating. I can only personally certify this article as good Commander pod advice, and neither I nor EDHREC can be held liable for any heartbreaks, rejections, or happy, fulfilling marriages which may result from utilizing this advice romantically.

Step Two: Get Their Contact Info

Ok, I swear, I know it was just Valentine's Day, but I'm not trying to do a dating thing. I guess it just happens that the process of developing intimacy treads a similar path both platonically and romantically.

But seriously, get their number. A good thing about this step is that it doesn't have to happen all at once.

For this article, I'll refer to the other folks in my pod as A, L, and C to protect identities. Are these their real initials, or did I just want the four letters to spell out "CARL"? I'd prefer not to say.

I played a few games with A last year, just before attending my first MagicCon in Chicago. Upon finding out he was also going to MagicCon for the first time, we exchanged numbers so we could meet up and play some games. We had an absolute blast playing a couple events and several pick up games together.

He still gives me a hard time about the game where I cast ExpropriateExpropriate with four copies of The ValeyardThe Valeyard, and immediately followed it up with Split DecisionSplit Decision, and the two strangers at our pod both suddenly lost their will to live. I'm quick to remind him that one of them was playing ToxrillToxrill, so he got what was coming to him. It's a fun bit.

And this is where I'd put our memories from MagicCon Chicago 2026... if we had one. (Still bitter. Come on, Wizards. It's barely going to get below freezing this weekend! For Chicago, that's practically a heat wave!)

So, for quite some time, I'd text with A before Commander Nights to see if he was going. And I'll tell you, even just having one other person in a pod who you're friendly with can make a world of difference. You come into the night not totally, utterly alone, which is always nice. And not only that, but they can also help you cultivate a vibe which will attract other likeminded players.

For example, we played a few games with C, another local player, from time to time. Those games were typically a lot of fun for all involved (even the time C played one of the durdliest, nastiest graveyard recursion decks I've ever seen, which I've mostly forgiven him for). Eventually, a new player named L moved to town and had a sort of punk/metal vibe that I, as a terminal ska fan, am naturally drawn to. He sat down with A and me and we found out that not only was he a good hang, but he also enjoyed playing decks in Brackets 2 and 3, which is where nearly all of our own decks fell at the time.

At this point I was cultivating a group of players who I knew that I liked. But I had a sense that, much like each half of the Brady Bunch at the beginning of the theme song, the four of us could become so much more. So eventually, after a game with C and L, I got their numbers to invite them to a playtest event for a game I was working on.

The next week, I threw A, C, and L into a group chat to ask if they'd be at Commander Night that week, and all of the sudden our pod was group chat official.

Step Three: Send Memes

Ok, they don't necessarily have to be memes. But they certainly can be memes. Basically, strike up a text conversation. Talk about Magic, since ostensibly you all enjoy it. Ask if anybody's doing an upcoming prerelease event. Show off a good card you just pulled from a pack. Tease a new singles order you have coming in. Just do something to start a conversation.

If they value your budding relationship, they'll make time to message you back (I swear, I can already feel Cosmopolitan Magazine suing me for content infringement).

Also, in a four-person group chat, messages tend to flow a little more freely. Chances are that someone is free to respond in the moment you send a message. And then the person who's moderately available will take out their phone to see who's blowing it up. And finally, the person who's in a meeting with their boss' boss will take out their phone to see if there's some sort of an emergency going on, when in reality, someone just sent a picture of Craterhoof BehemothCraterhoof Behemoth with "Oh lawd he comin'" on it.

Shared jokes and conversations are a great way to move a pod from a strictly on the table relationship into possible friendship. And once you're there, there's only one thing left to do:

Step Four: Celebrate Each Other

Ok, this actually is true across any type of relationship you could have in your life, but the key to a healthy relationship is continued support and engagement with the people you care about. It's the reason why it feels nice to get a text from a friend you haven't seen for a while. Because they made the effort to engage when they just as easily could not have.

So engage with the people you play with. Cherish your games together. To be known is to be loved, so get to know your fellow players and celebrate the things that bring joy not only to themselves, but to the whole table.

C is such a creative deckbuilder. Hardly a night goes by when he doesn't have a card order for pickup at the store, but it pays off in his endless supply of new decks. On the Wednesday before Valentine's day, he brought in four different decks with partnerpartner or companioncompanion commanders, most of which I'd never seen before.

He's also extremely generous. When he saw my Bracket 1 "Oops, all Warriors" Najeela, the Blade-BlossomNajeela, the Blade-Blossom (as the Cloud version from Final Fantasy) deck, the next week he handed me a thick stack of Warriors he pulled from his bulk and told me to take whatever I wanted. He even offered me a couple of Hare ApparentsHare Apparents he had lying around, even after he saw the raw destruction that my recently constructed Baylen, the HaymakerBaylen, the Haymaker deck could bring.

As I'm writing my praise for L, I'm realizing my two points seem to counter one another, but please bear with me. First off, he's an incredibly good vibes guy at the table. It's easy to see why we hit it off so fast, because he's often in a great mood and very easy to talk to. He also loves to toss Jaws, Relentless PredatorJaws, Relentless Predator or some of the new Iron Maiden Secret Lair cards into his decks, even if they're not the best fit, just because they're sick and we all love to see them on the table. The other thing I like about playing with L, is his propensity for interaction, specifically around counterspellscounterspells.

I'll admit, I got inordinately upset in one of our earlier games when I was playing my "A good pirate never takes another person's property" Don Andres, the RenegadeDon Andres, the Renegade deck and he countered my Thieving AmalgamThieving Amalgam. I got upset in part because that deck has never done well for me and I'd never been able to play that card before, so I went off a little too hard. But I've since come to appreciate his willingness to do so, because I too like to use a little counter magic, just to keep things interesting. Now, it seems like our whole table has joined in the counter-fun a bit, and the game is much more tense & interesting when you have to be wary of who has open mana before you feel safe casting your huge bomb spells.

A, first off, has become a dear friend of mine. He's extremely kind to me. One night, he joined a group I put together to playtest a card game I was working on at a restaurant nowhere near where he lives, but I don't know exactly how far because he didn't bring it up once. He also regularly reads my articles and sometimes references them at the table (usually to use my words against me, which always brings a fun mixture of warmth and frustration that reminds me of the times growing up when I got razzed by my brother).

He is also our go-to at the table for rules questions, because he's extraordinarily knowledgeable. But he's also patient, and a great teacher, even when he's having to help other people pilot their own decks. He has a fun habit of instructively saying "trigger" as he forcefully taps the card that's triggering, which ,as a part-time academic tutor, I've come to recognize as a very useful teaching tool. He also has an issue with every single one of my decks, but honestly, that may be somewhat my fault.

I know all of these things are personal to me and my pod, but I don't write them because you need to know the specifics. I write them because I need you to understand the joy that's waiting for you just down the road of your Commander journey if you put the effort in to find it. I know social things can be hard, and interacting with strangers can be nerve-rackingnerve-racking, but it's so worth it to put in that effort.

I learned a long time ago that public DnD nights were mostly for finding enough cool people that you all can break off and start your own home game. I suppose I just never considered that might be the case with Commander nights too.

So find the people in your space that bring you joy. Make actual friends with them. Let Magic be a tool for improving your life and your mental health.

I've always said that the biggest win that you can have at a Commander game is getting invited back to the pod. And now, I'm here to tell you, it turns out that I was absolutely right.