Blech, Loafing PestBlech, Loafing Pest | Art by Ilse Gort

As I typically enjoy doing when a new set releases, I’m setting out on a quest to cover creature types that gained substantial support. A couple of weeks ago, we looked at Wizards and Warlocks, two of the more prominent classifications of students at Strixhaven. Starting last week, we began touring the mascots of the different colleges.

Since we covered Inklings last week, we’ll continue with another mascot type to get some support before Secrets of Strixhaven. Like their insectoid design, they tend to bug people; still, some find them adorable.

Have you guessed it? It’s Pests!

The term “pest” typically refers to animals that bother people, as reflected in the types that Blex, Vexing PestBlex, Vexing Pest and his son, Blech, Loafing PestBlech, Loafing Pest, refer to: Bats, Insects, Snakes, and Spiders. Bats and Spiders have been featured on previous installments, while Snakes and Spiders will have their day in the sun (the latter likely after the rain comes down). Ironically, Pests are associated with a strategy that bothers me: Lifegain.

Originally, Pests gained life on death, but Secrets of Strixhaven introduced a new kind of Pest, which instead gains life on attack. Some justify life gain by how it helps win races in combat, but life gain has always been the bane of my existence. I dislike how it extends games, makes issues with threat analysis, and struggles to translate incremental advantage into ending games.

It’s the earthbending to my Aang, but, like the Avatar, becoming a complete player means accepting and understanding all aspects of the game.

Pest History

Pests are a creature type that exists primarily in the form of tokens. There are actually three kinds of Pest tokens, as Pests actually predate Strixhaven. Signal PestSignal Pest used to be a staple of hyperaggressive decks in Standard, and Nuisance EngineNuisance Engine was the original Pest token maker, a role-player in early token and sacrifice themed Commander decks.

In the initial Strixhaven set, Pests were introduced properly as the mascots of Witherbloom college, gaining life when they died. Blex, Vexing PestBlex, Vexing Pest was their lord, as well as a lord of Bats, Insects, Snakes, and Spiders. He gained even more life when he died, hinting at the fate of the character, which would be confirmed with the flavor text of his son. Oddly enough, his sorcery side, castable from the command zone, was a grave-filling engine, making Blex a better graveyard commander than a Pest one.

Secrets of Strixhaven and its related Witherbloom Commander deck introduced a new breed of Pest, one where life is gained on attack instead of death. This fundamentally changed how Pests play, as they now want to get into the red zone instead of getting sacrificed or chump blocking (blocking large creatures without trample to prevent damage). This means that we want to be able to attack profitably, which is where our commander comes in.

But how do we address the issues with life gain? And how do we prevent ourselves from wheel-spinning (wasting time with spells and abilities that are inconsequential to the outcome of the game)?

What Does Blech, Loafing PestBlech, Loafing Pest Do?

Blech, Loafing PestBlech, Loafing Pest is a game-ending threat, unlike his role-playing predecessor. For starters, Blech is a 3/4 creature for three mana - much tougher than his dad. He doesn’t gain life when he dies, but we don’t want him to die. No, we want him to be around for a long, long time, longer than our opponents will be around, that’s for sure.

The nastiness comes from Blech’s triggered ability, adding layers of counters to creatures under the Pest umbrella established by Blex. These permanent boosts persist even after Blex dies, should the worst happen, and they stack on top of each other, unlike Blex’s lordship. This lets us turn the attack-based life gain into layers of counters, and, if the older Pests die, we can pump our team even more.

Merging the old and new Pests is a bit of a challenge, however. The old Pests want sacrifice effects, while the new ones want to get into combat. The old Pests don’t require combat to function, while the new ones want to continue attacking turn after turn.

If one type wants to die, and the other wants to live, how can we get the two to work together?

Key Cards for Blech, Loafing PestBlech, Loafing Pest

Pests predate Strixhaven and have two distinct types of tokens (and one mostly-unused one). As a result, most of the Pest cards featured will be cards that produce Pests, which includes creatures that are not Pests themselves. Pests are a largely token-based type and feature lifegain enablers and payoffs, making for a remarkably deep creature type despite only being featured in two sets, one of which just came out.

Pest InfestationPest Infestation and Pest SummoningPest Summoning are both sorcery spells that make multiple Pests. Summoning makes a couple of Pests, while the Infestation is a mana sink, making twice X Pests and destroying X artifacts or enchantments. Fusing token production with mass removal makes a powerful and flexible card.

Sedgemoor WitchSedgemoor Witch and Callous BloodmageCallous Bloodmage each make Pest tokens, although they are not Pests themselves. They are Warlocks, however, and both were part of the Warlock feature last week. The Bloodmage makes a Pest on entering, while the Witch makes them when magecraft triggers.

But are there payoffs within the Pest type?

Blight MoundBlight Mound gives our Pests an additional point of power and menace, while making Pests whenever a nontoken creature dies. This allows us to attack with the newer Pests easier. Speaking of newer Pests, Pest MascotPest Mascot grows when we gain life, doubling up the counters our commander gives, threatening massive damage each turn, with trample ensuring it either connects or takes a lot with it.

Moldervine ReclamationMoldervine Reclamation and Deathreap RitualDeathreap Ritual both turn the deaths of creatures into card draw for us. The Reclamation triggers whenever a creature we control dies, while the Ritual triggers each end step, checking to see if anyone’s creature died. Both can draw multiple cards per turn cycle, making them excellent engines for us.

Immoral BargainImmoral Bargain and Withering CurseWithering Curse are solid, controllable mass removal spells. The Bargain destroys X nonland permanents, where X is the amount of creatures we sacrifice as an additional cost. Sacrificing older Pests synergizes well with our death and lifegain triggers. Meanwhile, Withering CurseWithering Curse either shrinks all creatures, which works when we have enough counters stacked up, or all creatures if we’ve gained life, which can trigger our death triggers.

Susur Secundi, Void AltarSusur Secundi, Void Altar and Grim BackwoodsGrim Backwoods both allow us to turn creatures into card draw. The Altar needs to be stationed, but it can draw us a lot of cards in a pinch. Grim BackwoodsGrim Backwoods is a solid way to draw out of stalemates, and can be activated as an instant, unlike the Altar.

But what are we digging for?

How Does This Blech, Loafing PestBlech, Loafing Pest Commander Deck Win?

Bastion of RemembranceBastion of Remembrance and The Meathook MassacreThe Meathook Massacre are both solid Aristocrats payoffs, turning the deaths of creatures into life loss for our opponents. The Massacre is a mass removal spell that sticks around to be an Aristocrats-style finisher. It’s especially good here because of our mass removal and penchant for having things die.

Together, Exquisite BloodExquisite Blood and Sanguine BondSanguine Bond form one of the more infamous insta-win combos in Commander. Separately, each serves a solid role in ending the game: one makes opponents lose life when we gain it, and the other makes us gain life when opponents lose it. Both of these work with Pests that gain us life and our commander, which grows our board when we gain life.

Having both in the deck increases the power level, but the adherence to a theme that’s focused around 1/1 creatures balances that out. 

Still, it’s best to inform the table that the combo exists in the deck before the game starts.

Blech, Loafing Pest Commander Deck List

Conclusion

Pests are a relatively new creature type, but represent the Witherbloom college well. They’re fun and play in interesting ways, including having a few different options at commander.

But how would you build Pests? And which commander would you choose?