Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag | Art by Nicholas Gregory

There's a deck that I've been meaning to build for a while now, and every year or so a new card comes out that makes me very excited for it. This deck would be built around the biggest, baddest green creatures out there, the ones with few or no abilities, and all it would do it turn those things sideways until every opponent had succumbed to blunt force trauma.

I was tempted when Ghalta, Primal HungerGhalta, Primal Hunger released; I nearly built the deck when Terrian, World TyrantTerrian, World Tyrant came out; and Quakestrider CeratopsQuakestrider Ceratops made me put together an online cart that I never bought. But now it is finally time.

Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag is the perfect commander for a deck built around being big and green, since it is the biggest, greenest commander ever printed.

What Does Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag Do?

Not only is Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag a certified beater at 8/8 with trample for six mana, it also "doubles" our mana to let us cast more over-statted threats. And in the year 2026, it accomplishes all of this with only two simple lines of text. This is what has made green the best color in commander for years; in fact, this is what has made green green: big creatures and big mana. Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag just distills the recipe to the core ingredients.

Because this commander is such an archetypical banger, similar legends abound. The aforementioned Terrian, World TyrantTerrian, World Tyrant is a great place to look for inspiration, as is Goreclaw, Terror of Qal SismaGoreclaw, Terror of Qal Sisma. For thoughts on how to abuse large quantities of mana, Omnath, Locus of ManaOmnath, Locus of Mana is a great place to start.

The closest one-to-one comparison is definitely Nikya of the Old WaysNikya of the Old Ways, another mana-doubler who loves big creatures, but this deck trades the red color identity for the ability to cast some spicy noncreature spells.

Looking broader, the Stompy tag on EDHREC pulls up tons of recommendations from other brewers who have tried to go as green as possible.

Key Cards for Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag

The first and most important ingredient in this recipe is, of course, beef. We're playing as many of the biggest creatures out there as possible. GigantosaurusGigantosaurus is possibly the coolest card in our deck, and it has no abilities beyond being a 10/10 for . Quakestrider CeratopsQuakestrider Ceratops rivals that size, as does Agonasaur RexAgonasaur Rex, and an attacking Rampaging BrontodonRampaging Brontodon can easily outgrow it.

Managorger HydraManagorger Hydra and Forgotten AncientForgotten Ancient start out small, but they will spiral out of control in only a few turns and take over the game.

That's what we're looking to do with the top of our curve, but where most decks would try to fill out the cheaper cards with utility pieces to support the plan, we're doubling down on size.

We want to have the biggest creature on the battlefield on every turn of the game, so we're playing under-costed donkeys like Steel Leaf ChampionSteel Leaf Champion, Yorvo, Lord of GarenbrigYorvo, Lord of Garenbrig, and Old-Growth TrollOld-Growth Troll. Regal ImperiosaurRegal Imperiosaur gives extra bonuses to the eight other Dinosaurs in our deck, and Wayward SwordtoothWayward Swordtooth can even help us ramp.

Finally, for nostalgia's sake, Leatherback BalothLeatherback Baloth gets to play the mascot role.

Green gives us the best ramp in the format, so Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag will give us all the mana we could dream of.

We have nine one-mana rampers like Wild GrowthWild Growth and Llanowar ElvesLlanowar Elves to get our powerful three drops down a turn early. We have OvergrowthOvergrowth, Fanatic of RhonasFanatic of Rhonas, and Llanowar TribeLlanowar Tribe, which can set us ahead multiple turns.

And once we have more of a board, we have Karametra's AcolyteKarametra's Acolyte and Nykthos, Shrine to NyxNykthos, Shrine to Nyx to take advantage of the dozens of symbols on our creatures.

These pieces help us with step one of our game plan, which is to develop a ton of mana and a couple large creatures ahead of schedule. Step two takes advantage of the sneaky strength of green in Commander: It has some of the best card draw of any color. Once we drop Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag to increase our mana, all we want is more action to cast with that mana.

Rishkar's ExpertiseRishkar's Expertise and Return of the WildspeakerReturn of the Wildspeaker, staples in their own rights, are absolutely disgusting in this deck where they will routinely net us over a dozen cards. And we now have six redundant versions of this effect, enough that we can fairly consistently chain one into the next and keep our hand overflowing.

I especially want to shout out the recently-printed Spry and MightySpry and Mighty which goes bananas in a deck full of Elvish MysticElvish Mystics and TerastodonTerastodons as a way to draw a grip of cards and produce double digits of power in one swing.

Alongside card draw engines that give us advantage in large chunks, we also get to play engines that give us consistent advantage over time. Garruk's PackleaderGarruk's Packleader, once a staple in green decks, can draw us several cards a turn while not being afraid to enter combat. Elemental BondElemental Bond trades the stats for a cheaper cost and harder-to-interact-with type line.

And Garruk's UprisingGarruk's Uprising offers a similar engine, while upgrading the few creatures we run that don't come with trample on their own.

Winning the Game With Groundchuck & DirtbagGroundchuck & Dirtbag

Combat remains the premier way to end games in Brackets one through three, and this deck sure can end games through combat. Many of our creatures invalidate blocking by being massive and having trample, and many more of them will get through because our opponents care more about their creatures than we do. No one wants to trade their commander or their sweet utility creature for a mostly-vanilla Steel Leaf ChampionSteel Leaf Champion, and so we can often get ten or fifteen damage in before our opponents know that they should be afraid.

Speaking of flying under the radar, we're playing a few creatures that our opponents are almost sure to underestimate, as does the Commander community as a whole. Flourishing Bloom-KinFlourishing Bloom-Kin which is in fewer than 9,000 decks, is one of the most efficient mono-green threats out there, often growing into a two-mana 8/8 or larger, and it can even find more lands if we draw it late.

Timbermaw LarvaTimbermaw Larva is even more slept on, seeing play in only 550 decks. This thing is huge! It can easily get into the double digits on attacks, and while it doesn't have trample on its own, no opponent is happy to throw a creature away every turn to chump block a common they've never heard of.

We're playing some ways to speed up a win besides our big creatures, but these pieces are less of a plan B and more of a doubling-down on plan A to surprise our opponents.

BerserkBerserk has been ending games since 1993, and if we can find the right window, we can use it to take out a player who thought they were sitting at a safe life total. We're even playing some of the lesser versions of the same effect. Aspect of HydraAspect of Hydra can deal a crazy amount of damage if we have any sort of board presence, and Primal BellowPrimal Bellow scales with the length of the game.

Blanchwood ArmorBlanchwood Armor isn't quite as sneaky as our other pump spells, but it can still blow out an opponent who didn't leave enough creatures back to block, and leaves something behind as well.

Groundchuck & Dirtbag Commander Deck List

Most colors suffer when trying to port over creature gameplay patterns and combat math from twenty-life formats into Commander. This is not the case for green. Green creatures come pre-sized for the forty-life world, and their steady power creep impacts Commander more than Standard or Limited.

When an opponent has twenty life, Terrian, World TyrantTerrian, World Tyrant and Pelakka WurmPelakka Wurm each present a three-turn clock, and both die to Doom BladeDoom Blade. But in Commander, the former will kill a player in five hits whereas the latter takes six, and everyone's removal is so stretched among all the threats on the board that they might slip through.

I love Timmy/Tammy Magic. Everyone sees this deck's plan coming a mile away, and everyone still underestimates it. Even I do. This is a Bracket 2 deck that can elicit the same emotional resonance as a Bracket 1 brew and can hang with Bracket 3s. The core strategy of ramp, card draw, and an escalating supply of threats is what makes green a menace at every power level, and this deck's simplicity makes that clear.

GigantosaurusGigantosaurus feels great every time, not only because it's cool, but also because it's good. And it's fun for the whole table; no one has to read all of our cards, they just have to read the power and toughness, and no one can get mad at dying to a vanilla creature. Just as Freud says that everyone yearns to return to the womb, everyone secretly yearns to return to kitchen-table Magic, and this deck can evoke that same feeling of awe at seeing a Craw WurmCraw Wurm for the first time.