Jodah, the UnifierJodah, the Unifier | Art by Caleb Meurer

Arriving at Bikini Bottom

Hello, and welcome back to Beyond the Multiverse, where we go over cards from beyond Magic's IP in-depth. I had another deck planned for this week, until we got our hands on spoilers for all three Secret Lairs tied to Spongebob Squarepants.

The shift was too abrupt for my liking, but I figure I'd knock this on the head before I miss an opportunity to discuss it. Since we got some time until Final Fantasy drops (I know about the stuff we got up to this point, but I'm saving everything for release), why not cover something that's coming out in a few weeks while we wait?

Underwater Rainbows?

Spongebob (reskinned as Jodah, the Unifier)Jodah, the Unifier) is the main character, who's also the namesake of the show. Firstly, he's a good-natured and hard-working sea-sponge humanoid (more on that latter bit in a moment).

Secondly, he dwells in Bikini Bottom, an underwater city, with his pet snail, Gary. He's a fry cook at Krusty Krabs by profession, and also a student in boating school.

As an aside, I did note that Spongebob himself is humanoid, because his card has the Human creature-type. This isn't completely accurate, but I digress.

This will be true for a lot of the creature-based Secret Lair Drop, so it's best to carry on. Such is part of the nature of reskinned cards.

We've seen billions of decks featuring Jodah since his release in Dominaria United, back in 2022. However, we're Universes Beyond connoisseurs, so that significantly cuts our card pool. Moreover, we're also working with an additional challenge: We're going to be using all three Secret Lairs to assemble the deck.

Fortunately, the basic lands Lair come with two each this time instead of just one each. Just note that, after the first time I mention the character reskins, that I'll be using the names from the show.

As an aside, I'm going by the skin name rather than the card it's representing. Consequently, after the first time I mention each reskin, expect me to use Spongebob's name rather than Jodah's (for example; except in corner cases).

If you'd rather me use the actual card names instead in future articles, please let me know in the comments. With that disclaimer out of the way, let's move into the deck's 99, beginning with the creatures.

The Residents of Bikini Bottom

The first Secret Lair we're covering nets us seven creatures already, including Spongebob. Firstly, Toski, Bearer of SecretsToski, Bearer of Secrets (reskinned as Sandy Cheeks, Martial Astronaut; 180,312 decks) gives us card, while Toxrill, the CorrosiveToxrill, the Corrosive (comically reskinned as Gary, the Snail; 38, 102 decks) is a wipe that builds up over time.

Patrick Star, a reskin of Barktooth WarbeardBarktooth Warbeard (267 decks), is obviously not the first card to run in the 99, but this will decidedly be a flavor choice. The flavor text on a vanilla legend, in a way, drives home his character, which is a win.

With Charix, the only dual lands we have that have basic land types are Sunken HollowSunken Hollow and Prairie StreamPrairie Stream. However, even with new lands akin to them, they won't do much to utilize Charix's activated ability.

As a result, it'll depend on other cards in the deck to get it big enough to attack.

This is the price we pay for using every card in a given Secret Lair(s). Sorry! On the other hand, Skrelv, Defector MiteSkrelv, Defector Mite (reskinned as Plankton, Tiny Tyrant; 86,111 decks) can give a creature evasion.

Finally, Grazilaxx, Illithid ScholarGrazilaxx, Illithid Scholar (reskinned as Squidward, Sarcastic Snob; 57,909 decks) gives us card draw, and I can imagine some corner cases where that first ability is useful.

But these seven can't do it alone. In a tonal whiplash of the year, we're using Abaddon the DespoilerAbaddon the Despoiler (6,313 decks), who will allow our spells to cascade if an opponent lost enough life during the current turn.

With Spongebob out, what's better than one Cascade? Two. On the other side of the coin, we have Arwen, Weaver of HopeArwen, Weaver of Hope (53,883 decks), who'll ensure our other creatures enter monstrously huge with Spongebob's Coat of ArmsCoat of Arms-like buff.

In addition, The Sixth DoctorThe Sixth Doctor (11,587 decks) doubles up on all the creatures we're running. Just note that the copy tokens will not be legendary, thus won't be affected by Spongebob.

Five Memes in All the World

The second Secret Lair (and the last of the nonbasic land Lairs) centers on noncreature spells. In a similar vein to the first one, the internet memes are out in force with this drop.

Consequently, each card here is depicting well-known scenes of the series that were immortalized as memes. Above all, the best two cards in this drop are CounterspellCounterspell and Night's WhisperNight's Whisper, mostly because they're riding on their flexibility.

However, the others have more conditional or situational uses. Force of DespairForce of Despair can be used on some careless opponent dropping a bunch of creatures in a single turn.

Unfortunately, the exile cost might be a bit harsh for this deck, seeing as were in all five colors. So, if you need the card, have a second black card handy.

Secondly, DazeDaze falls under the category of countermagic you shouldn't be running in Commander because opponents can easily pay the one.

Be wary of that if you use the card. Finally, Inevitable BetrayalInevitable Betrayal is something you can suspend, or cascade off Abaddon if you get lucky.

Otherwise, we'll need to boost the power of the deck. Flowering of the White TreeFlowering of the White Tree protects and buffs our board. In addition, Day of DestinyDay of Destiny (16,782 decks) isn't quite as much of a finisher as Spongebob, or Heroes' PodiumHeroes' Podium, but it does its job well.

On the other hand, DesynchronizationDesynchronization (34,488 decks) is a one-sided Cyclonic RiftCyclonic Rift that will set us up for a game-winning swing.

Traverse EternityTraverse Eternity (9,744 decks) will draw us a good grip of cards, depending on the most expensive Historic card we have out. There's at least one other finisher in the deck, but we'll get to that. First, the decklist:

Entering the Krusty Krab

One Krabby Patty, Coming Right Up

The list gives us a good idea of what we can expect. Alistair, the BrigadierAlistair, the Brigadier (4,966 decks) will end games, provided that we pay that crucial eight mana. However, the soldier tokens will make for nice chump fodder.

Certainly, Surtr, Fiery JötunSurtr, Fiery Jötun (5,384 decks), an old favorite of mine from a previous article, returns to take out pesky blockers and planeswalkers (Wait, planeswalkers? What are they? We don't need them here, with very few exceptions). Moreover, Sisay, Weatherlight CaptainSisay, Weatherlight Captain (reskinned as Buttercup, Provincial Princess; 22,209 decks) will have us tutor out what creatures we need.

Lastly, Havi, the All-FatherHavi, the All-Father (7,259 decks) will bring back fallen residents...I mean legendary creatures from your graveyard if he or another one bit the dust.

On the other hand, noncreature spells like Shadow in the WarpShadow in the Warp (40,292 decks) helps us make our creatures easier to cast, but also punish opponents who rely on their fancy noncreature spells.

Also, What Must Be DoneWhat Must Be Done (6,986 decks) is nice utility: Either it wipes the board, you can use it to bring back a Historic permanent (bonus points if it's a creature, because it'll return with two +1/+1 counters as well).

Brotherhood RegaliaBrotherhood Regalia and Mithril CoatMithril Coat (74,160 and 236,081 decks respectively) serve as great protection pieces for Spongebob, so he can dish out more value, and further bolster your board.

As far as other finishers go, Spongebob counts as one, be it commander damage or otherwise. However, we shouldn't always rely on him to reach the goalpost.

Firstly, Bayek of SiwaBayek of Siwa (18,020 decks) gives all of our legendary creatures double strike, which actually can work even better with some of the other cards in the deck.

Also, were you thinking that I glossed over the food token that was included in one of the Drops? Fear not, because Samwise GamgeeSamwise Gamgee (45,076 decks) will bring Krabby Pattys in spades. He also gives the deck some recursion if needed.

Preparing to Surface

In conclusion, I hope this list provides a home for the Secret Lairsyou acquired. I dipped into flavor for this deck rather than power. As a result, this deck isn't more optimal than its regular Jodah counterparts.

It's not a bad thing anyway, since Jodah's commanding no less than 18,362 decks, probably playing a lot of the same cards throughout.

The angles of using all cards from the Secret Lairs and going Universes Beyond-only should help make this list stand out from most.

Additionally, I was going to use one of the sections here to discuss the increasing price point on Universes Beyond. Moreover, I'm sure this will be something for the Final Fantasy release, so I might return to it then.

What I will say is that, to get the Drops you need for this list, it'll run you about 90 USD for the nonfoils, if you were to order from the website. If that's too much money, but you wish to play with the list (or a variation thereof), proxy it. No need for your wallet to gatekeep you.

Return next time when I sneak in a little surprise for you. Until next time, enjoy your vacation to Bikini Bottom.

Owain Roberts

Owain has been playing on and off from around Invasion block to 2011, and has been playing since. He tends to gravitate towards Naya colors, though he's always on the lookout for interesting decks to explore. When he isn't slinging spells, he can be found looking after his pet dogs.