Whims of the FatesWhims of the Fates | Art by Seb McKinnon

Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas? This week: Put it all on black?

This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"

I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email [email protected] with your story, a pseudonym you want to use, and of course, only include details you don't mind in the column! You might see your story below one day. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?

THIS PODCAST!

I'm Mike Carrozza and this is what I look like drinking hot chocolate in the Fall!

I mostly spill it on my shirt.

(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)

SUBMISSION

VERDICT

Hi, Gary! Thank you for writing and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to [email protected] and I'll get to it here.

This one feels pretty straight forward. I'll let you off the hook early: Not the Bolas. I believe that you explained the card and the chances were what they were. Certainly, the go-big-or-go-home strategy of putting all your stuff in one pile and hoping that 66% wins out can work, but there's always the chance that 33% sees you effectively set back if not completely knocked out of the game awaiting sweet release.

What's really happening here is the new player had a bad experience and learned early that Magic can be pretty swingy. He may have hoped that listening to your advice would have worked out, but the card requires chance.

Harboring any ill will there would be disappointing. Sure, he didn't have a great time, and you played the card, so maybe he's not your biggest fan, but there's a roll of the dice at work. Either way, it sounds like the next games were fun and it's water under the bridge.

I'm bummed he asked you not to play the deck again, because - this is the fun part that I don't think he's picturing - you playing Whims of the FatesWhims of the Fates and only destroying your board is very real possibility. And that's hilarious. Heck, the next time you play this card against him, he could be one of the lucky players who keep their things.

Or, hear me out, engaging with the piles and making the decision of how to properly group your permanents is part of the fun for him and he hasn't realized it yet. It's not the most likely outcome, but choosing optimism is nice!

Either way, it's definitely a card to sub out if someone isn't into it, so you did right to offer.

The only thing I can say to this is that land destruction should be disclosed and I hope that this part was communicated when you explained the card to him. I'm operating here as though it was, of course, but it's important to note. I mean, technically doesn't mass land destruction qualify a deck out of a precon level and send it right to Bracket 4?

The Bracket System will never be perfect, but you've illustrated that the discussion was had prior to the game, so that's what it's really all about.

You played a strange board wipe that's more chaotic and can hit lands; that ain't a crime (not even in-game). If the card was explained and the new player rejected your offer to swap it out, I think you took many precautions to ensure that agency was given and everybody gave a thumbs up.

I mean, the card was literally printed in a precon deck as well! Sure, it was the Yidris, Maelstrom WielderYidris, Maelstrom Wielder deck, but...okay.

I think I have a soft spot for this story. Lately, I've been attracted to cards like Whims of the FatesWhims of the Fates a little more because I enjoy the game-within-a-game aspect of it, but also because it's such a silly board wipe. It's a big moment at the table that injects tension and excitement.

Rather than a decisive FarewellFarewell, which can feel like losing your pile of all-my-permanents, it's this board wipe that requires some consideration and personality. You get to learn more about your fellow players. Are they intrigued by this? Are they interested in gambling with their whole board? Are they ready with the perfect split of lands across all piles to give themselves the best shot at making it through this? It's fascinating!

I think this kind of card has the highest chance of you walking away with a story that you remember for as long as you play Magic and beyond. This and cards that say the word "secretly." Magic has given me so many moments since I was nine, and with recent times, I feel like I yearn for more big moments brought on by Magic. Fun, silly Magic. 

Thank you for reminding me of Whims of the FatesWhims of the Fates, I think I'll find a copy for my "Magic Cards I Love" binder.

Thanks again for writing in!

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