Triple TriadTriple Triad | Art by Ben Wootten
Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas? This week, a couple quickies!
This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"
I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email [email protected] with your story, a pseudonym you want to use, and of course, only include details you don't mind in the column! You might see your story below one day. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?
I'm Mike Carrozza and I'm gonna scry and surveil a lot more from now on.
I can see everything now and it's beautiful.
This week, a bunch of submissions that are a little short for a full article.
(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)
SUBMISSION 1
Hello,
My friend - let's call him George - is a bit of a wild card/chaos player. When making deals he loves to look for loopholes and technicalities.
During a game of Commander while I was trying to make a deal that I won't attack him if he doesn't attack me he said "I won't attack you during the next turn." The next player in order goes then it's George's turn and he attacks me. He claims his exact words mean he would not attack me during the next players turn not "his" next turn.
I think I am 100% in the right and it was a silly loophole/ deal break. Am I the Bolas for feeling this way?
Thanks,
Ace
VERDICT 1
Thank you for writing and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to [email protected] and I'll get to it here.
Hey, no! You're not wrong here! George intentionally deceived you and if you'd asked anybody reading this, they'd understand the intent of the deal being offered and yet George took advantage of semantics to essentially go back on a deal. Boo.
If you're going to make a deal, be as clear as you can be, for sure, but it's fair that in the safety of a pod among friends, some intentions and implications don't need spelling out. George took advantage of that and I think this is bad etiquette in Commander. Was he playing a character to embody his commander? Was there a real reason for this, forecasted in some way? No? Then I'm not going to be trusting any more of George's deals going forward.
Not the Bolas.
SUBMISSION 2
Hello,
I play Commander every Tuesday with my three-to-four friends and a lot of the games end very similarly.
To be honest, I tend to win a lot of our games, though I do believe that comes from experience. I've been playing Magic for about ten years, whereas my friends have anywhere between two months to two years of experience. Oftentimes, it's my judgment and deckbuilding being a bit more informed than theirs.
My solution is nerfing my decks. What I have done with a lot of my decks is kept them more board-centric but what happens is I have a few mid-sized things that don't present huge problems. Then someone plays a SheoldredSheoldred and everyone panics. They get targeted and, most times, my stuff is left alone.
Where I've had to adapt to keep my stuff relevant is running removal. I run a decent amount and a lot of it is value-oriented. Things like Druid of PurificationDruid of Purification. Multi-targeted removal.
My most recent deck was a Feather, the RedeemedFeather, the Redeemed deck designed around EphemerateEphemerate type cards. Games end up looking like a player playing a giant threat or two and me evoking a SolitudeSolitude and CloudshiftCloudshifting it.
I worry I'm sucking the fun out of the games by always having an answer. I don't want my friends to think I'm just going to be no fun and remove any cool creatures. But I also don't want to throw and just let them have the big thing because it kind of feels insulting.
Am I the Bolas?
Mace
VERDICT 2
Thank you for writing and asking me to weigh in on your story.
The first thing I'll mention is that I recommend you speak to your playgroup about this feeling you're having. If it's something they've noticed and hadn't spoken up about, then take that criticism and push further toward a solution. However, if they acknowledge they have no problem with the way you play and that it's your own perception, I recommend you find a way for yourself to enjoy the game while also reminding yourself that your playgroup has said there isn't an issue.
I would also recommend you invite them to provide feedback to you on your games and I think that would relieve some of the pressure you're putting on yourself.
If you find yourself controlling the table when your goal is not to control the table, then you have to hit the drawing board again. Of course, you need to run some removal, but if you're often the player who takes a win and you feel bad about it, you haven't nerfed things enough. Really get creative with how many bad cards you can play with - if this is the direction you'd like to go in, that is.
My other suggestion is a classic: Play a group hug deck. It sounds like you don't want to be the problem and you want people to have a good time. "But Mike, isn't a group hug deck a control deck by another name and isn't that more insidious?" Fair point, smart individual. I see where you're coming from.
It doesn't have to be that way though. It comes down to how you wish to pilot the deck and whether you'll get enjoyment out of the others succeeding rather than you "always having the answer."
In the end, if this doesn't sound good to you and you still find yourself dominating, then go for value over disruption. I know it means that your decks won't hum the same way, but if you cut a SolitudeSolitude for a Sun TitanSun Titan instead, you've got a different situation. I don't think SolitudeSolitude is at all close to being a Game Changer, but it's undoubtedly a very strong card, so much so that it's a Modern card. That whole cycle is bananas. So its inclusion raises the question of whether or not your nerfing has gone far enough.
Not the Bolas, but I encourage you to identify what your goal really is in this playgroup and then to build with that goal in mind fully.
SUBMISSION 3
Hi Mike,
Love the podcast and the column. Something has been weighing on me for a couple of weeks and I wanted the very scientific and mathematical decision of The Bolcast.
I am a judge at couple different LGS locations - shocker, I know. Mostly after tournaments and prereleases, I sit down a play a game of Commander or two or ten. Depends on my family. My intent in playing is really to chill and unwind. I don't really care about winning. Usually, I am making people laugh and enjoy Magic.
One LGS is a little Spikier than the others. In fact, the owner, who I have beaten in Commander a few times, tells everyone to kill me first. He says this jokingly, but there are players who have also gotten beaten my me who do not take it as a joke.
A couple weeks back, a pod invited me to play and then targeted me down big time. After two games of this, I wanted to teach this pod a lesson of what happens when you bully a player. So I brought out a deck that wasn't nice. Was it cEDH? No. Was it higher power than what I normally play? Yes. I played without the kid gloves and you can expect what happened. This caused a bit a salt.
Am I the Bolas in this situation? Judges are typically supposed to CultivateCultivate, not Go for the ThroatGo for the Throat. I did apologize for causing friction but not for my actions. Would love to hear what you think about this.
Sincerely,
Judge Jay
VERDICT 3
Thank you for writing and asking me to weigh in on your story. Thank you for your kind words about the podcast as well, I appreciate it.
As a steward of the game, being a judge, there's this added pressure to make sure you conduct yourself in a welcoming way. It also means that you'll be known to impart and dispense wisdom. The way in which you do this matters. I don't believe stomping a table after you've been targeted for several games is the way to go. I don't think reaching for a deck and thinking "This'll teach them a lesson" is really the way to go unless you're fighting fire with fire and someone has been pretty atrocious to the table and the overall vibe.
I believe strongly that this could be handled differently. You have a reputation at the LGS because of the owner and other people who've played against you.
It could be a conversation with the owner to say "Hey, I love this place, but when you outright tell people to target me, I just don't have that much fun and I've reined in my decks. I don't deserve this kind of target placed on me." Their reaction will be what it is and you have to be prepared for all those possibilities.
I think being fun, cool, and calm in the face of being focused on in your capacity at this LGS as a judge is pretty important. When targeted, you could plead a case and politic. You could ask to borrow someone else's deck so they know you're not playing anything too juiced for their own collection. But I don't think stomping a table because of this is the right move. It might come down to having a "work" LGS and a "play" LGS.
Bolas, I guess, but I think you'll be alright.
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Mike Carrozza
Mike Carrozza is a stand-up comedian from Montreal who’s done a lot of cool things like put out an album called Cherubic and worked with Tig Notaro, Kyle Kinane, and more people to brag about. He’s also been an avid EDH player who loves making silly stuff happen. @mikecarrozza on platforms.
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