Evereth, Viceroy of PlunderEvereth, Viceroy of Plunder Illustrated by Yuichi Murakami
Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas?
This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"
I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email [email protected] with your story, a pseudonym you want to use, and of course, only include details you don't mind in the column! You might see your story below one day. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?
I'm Mike Carrozza and I just learned the Final Fantasy set is based on a video game??!!
You're saying I can play as this friggin' guy!?
This week, an email I missed from the column's old email address! Sorry I got to it so late!
(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)
HELLO, MIKE
I had a game that left a particularly foul taste in my mouth, and lashed out afterwards to express my discontent. I wanted to know if you thought I was being the Bolas for my response.
I was playing my new Evereth, Viceroy of PlunderEvereth, Viceroy of Plunder aristocrats deck in a game of online Magic with long-time friends. My opponents were playing Ashnod the UncaringAshnod the Uncaring, Eriette of the Charmed AppleEriette of the Charmed Apple, and Adrix and Nev, TwincastersAdrix and Nev, Twincasters. The game starts off rather poorly, with me missing several important land drops on turn three, four, and six, and being forced to use a Myriad LandscapeMyriad Landscape from behind. That being said, it wasn't particularly a famine, because I managed to get my Evereth out with The Reaver CleaverThe Reaver Cleaver while the other players were similarly setting up their defenses.
I can't fault the Eriette player for enchanting my commander, nor the Ashnod player for keeping an Aether SpellbombAether Spellbomb up with the explicit condition that, if I attack them, they would bounce my commander. That's just good, clean Magic. But when I attacked the only available target to try and get my Treasures, they revealed their Krosan GripKrosan Grip from hand, targeting my The Reaver CleaverThe Reaver Cleaver, when they could have removed the obstacles for me to attack other players before the combat step. Sure. Fine. Someone was gonna be unhappy with that Krosan GripKrosan Grip, whatever. We're moving on.
Come several unimpressive turns later while my mana base catches up, Adrix and Nev and Ashnod are both down to low enough life totals that, with the FlingFling in my hand, I am able to kill them both. Meanwhile, the passive play from the Eriette player has left them with a healthy board state. I reveal to the two others that I am capable of killing them at instant speed, hoping to keep them from targeting me any further. Instead, before the start of their turn, Ashnod pops the Aether SpellbombAether Spellbomb, not only targeting my commander specifically, but also one of my creatures instead of Eriette. I am forced to FlingFling in response, and with lethal damage showing on the stack, they use Deadly RollickDeadly Rollick as a spiteful last middle finger, targeting my final creature and leaving me with an empty board against Eriette. Two turns later, and the game is over with me having received every single instance of removal and Aura Curses my opponents played.
I was frustrated at the lack of agency I felt during that game, where the opponents I targeted could have removed the obstacles that prevented me from going after the other players. I expressed that rather crassly after the game, accusing those players of targeting me exclusively, and ultimately deciding the winner in a stacked 3v1. Am I the Bolas? Or was that truly an unofficial Archenemy game?
Forever a fan,
Nahiri Apologist
HOWDY, NAHIRI APOLOGIST!
Thank you for writing and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to [email protected] and I'll get to it here.
What a sign off, too! "Forever a fan." I mean wow, thank you!
I think this is a story that's heavy on the details of the game, but not on the incident that has you asking if you're the Bolas. You say you crassly accused your opponents of focusing in on you. I guess "crassly" is doing the heavy lifting. It's fair to discuss the game and the feedback that comes with it. I'll say it's ideal to even casually discuss the unfolding of a match while small moves are being made toward the next game - putting stuff away, taking out another deck, etc. I feel like by saying "crassly" you're telling on yourself - you think you went a little too far. I can't say whether you were the Bolas, but there's a part of you that feels enough of a twinge to know that "maybe a little" is at least where it starts. Keep your cool next time; you'll be proud of yourself. You can get your point across without making yourself feel like you might be the Bolas.
I want to discuss the game and, while unfortunately you may have been on the receiving end of the brunt of the removal from your opponents, I have to ask - "can ya blame 'em?"
Evereth came out at the tail end of last year in Foundations Jumpstart and is a Rakdos commander I think is super cool and interesting, but most definitely rings some alarm bells for anybody who's familiar with it. If you've been exposed to a game against Evereth, watched a video about her when the card was released, or even wandered over to her EDHREC page, one thing is very clear: you brought a bomb to the table.
As a Rakdos aficionado and aristocrat strat lover myself, I see the appeal of her in the command zone, but much like many other scary commanders, you essentially send a message as a pre-game action. Her first ability is locked behind sorcery-speed timing, but that death trigger ability paired with a sacrifice outlet and a way to pay puts the table on notice. Even at a mana deficit, Evereth can set something up that'll make your opponents keep an eye on you. What choice do your opponents have in their position?
I'll give you this - Adrix playing the Krosan GripKrosan Grip without wanting to politic is an interesting move. There was a deal to be made to allow you to swing at Eriette, but at this point in the game, Eriette hadn't been chopping their life totals down yet. The more immediate and explosive threat is an Evereth who can make a ton of Treasures and sacrifice them to herself. Evereth's death trigger says "each opponent," after all. With you having been missing land drops, keeping you off of mana seems like a good game plan if you're chasing a win. We don't know for sure, because we don't get your opponents' side of things here.
Of course, this is all without considering the fact that you flashed them the big red button. Showing off your FlingFling didn't quite seal the deal like you thought it would - a bummer, for sure, but there's an arrogance to a move like that. I'm sure this also motivated your opponents to maybe prioritize you on their removal scale. I think it sucks for Ashnod to have just used Deadly RollickDeadly Rollick on your other creature, and it feels a lot like kingmaking, what with them forcing your hand in popping the FlingFling already. I think that part is where I'm most on your side. Although, a spite move on the way out isn't unheard of. It's like if you were to win via combat damage with an army of creatures that vastly surpass my army of creatures - am I supposed to roll over and let it through? I'm going to block to hurt you the most! And that's what this feels like. It's risk assessment and dealing with the consequences.
Overall, I think your feelings on the game are valid, but I can't determine if you're a Bolas for your reaction since I didn't get much of it. So you writing in tells me that you're probably at least a little Bolasy and hopefully you've learned something from this experience. Sometimes games don't break your way, and that sucks. But that's Magic, baby!
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