Mirko, Obsessive TheoristMirko, Obsessive Theorist | Art by Heonhwa Choe
Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas?
This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"
I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email [email protected] with your story, a pseudonym you want to use, and of course, only include details you don't mind in the column! You might see your story below one day. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?
I'm Mike Carrozza, aka Mark Carbonza, and now I have Final Fantasy names stuck in my head like earworms!
GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!
This week: a bad taste in your mouth?
(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)
SUBMISSION
Hi Mike,
I'm curious whether I'm the antagonist here for really not liking my fellow player and not calling him out on his misplays.
So I'm at my LGS a few days ago, and I sit down to join a pod. The guy across from me is playing Ghyrson Starn, KelermorphGhyrson Starn, Kelermorph. The person next to me is playing Mirko, Obsessive TheoristMirko, Obsessive Theorist, and the last guy is playing Ganax, Astral HunterGanax, Astral Hunter and Acolyte of BahamutAcolyte of Bahamut.
The Mirko guy immediately starts getting salty at me because I am running Jin-Gitaxias, Progress TyrantJin-Gitaxias, Progress Tyrant. Now, I probably did deserve a little bit of hate for playing Jin, but I really like his copy ability and while I wish he didn't have the CounterspellCounterspell clause, he does and he is sadly a pretty salty card. Anyway, the Mirko player starts being rude to me - aggressively reminding me about mulligan rules, checking to see if I'm tapping my mana correctly, and telling me to stop talking because "he needs to think."
Beyond this, the Mirko player also didn't seem to understand how his commander worked, putting counters on him equal to surveil value rather than whenever he surveils. When I tried to tell him that that isn't how Mirko works, he starts arguing with me and I drop the subject, not calling a judge because I don't want to antagonize him more.
Eventually Jin gets removed by the Mirko player's Imprisoned in the MoonImprisoned in the Moon, which I only realize later he cast on his opponent's turn, even though it doesn't have flash. I end up killing Mirko, partly so I don't have to deal with the misplay issue. The Ghyrson player proceeds to combo off with Niv-Mizzet, ParunNiv-Mizzet, Parun and Tandem LookoutTandem Lookout, winning the game. We move onto a second game, and the Mirko player switches to Anim Pakal, Thousandth MoonAnim Pakal, Thousandth Moon, the Ghyrson guy changes over to Captain N'ghathrodCaptain N'ghathrod, and I play Ghalta and MavrenGhalta and Mavren.
Pretty early on, the N'gathrod player gets out a Sludge MonsterSludge Monster and puts a slime counter on Anim, turning her into a vanilla 2/2. The Anim guy rage-quits over this, and leaves, saying he can't do anything without his commander.
My LGS does random seating arrangements on Commander nights. However, I'm honestly tempted to ask not to be seated with the Mirko player again. He just made the entire experience very uncomfortable for me, and I don't feel any desire to play Magic with him again.
Am I the Bolas for being mad at this guy, or not pointing out his misconduct rules-wise?
Sincerely frustrated,
#1 Mossbridge TrollMossbridge Troll Fan
VERDICT
Thank you for writing and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column. So if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to [email protected] and I'll get to it here.
Look, I'm going to be super blunt. Some weeks, the submissions are just gimmes - easy to judge and more than likely already covered in another article. However, we do get some different nuances to discuss in these so they serve as more of a springboard to chat about something that sticks out.
So, let's get this out of the way: You're not the Bolas for not wanting to play with someone again if you didn't have a good time playing with them.
From what you've told us, there's a few things that would be frustrating to deal with. Obviously, we're only getting your side and if I heard from the Mirko player, I'd probably hear all about the Jin-Gitaxias, Progress TyrantJin-Gitaxias, Progress Tyrant and whatnot. But the misplays are really where I'm on your side.
One of my biggest Magic: The Gathering pet peeves is people who don't engage in good faith discussions about how their cards work - and then doubling down.
I know you missed the Imprisoned in the MoonImprisoned in the Moon not having flash, but, excuse me, if someone were to point out my commander doesn't work the way I think it does, I'd hopefully have the humility to at least verify the claim, whether by judge or checking online.
What's the worst that can happen if you're really right? You get to teach a player who misunderstood your card how it works? Or worse - What if you're wrong? Aren't you grateful for someone having pointed that out so you can correct your gameplay and adjust your deck since your commander is basically a different card? I mean, come on!
If you are sitting at a table and somebody tells you a card doesn't do what you think it does, call a judge. Do it. It's worth it. If you're in an environment where they are available, call one. You can use the online judge chat, too. Leave no ambiguity if both opinions are opposed.
Of course, if they point it out and you see what they're saying, then yeah, go with that read of the card. Be a good person playing Magic, read the card, and if you're deadlocked, phone a friend ("Judge!") to get you sorted.
I don't really want to say much about the Anim Pakal being Sludged thing. Somebody storming off because their commander is "turned off" after having played (correction: misplayed) Imprisoned in the MoonImprisoned in the Moon - that's pretty rich.
It's not like you can't hold up the Sludged commander to block so you can cast it again. It's not like you can't make a deal with another player at the table to kill your 2/2 commander so you can have it back. There are more options.
This guy's got real "my way or the highway" energy and that's unpleasant enough for me to not want to play with them again, too. Not the Bolas for not wanting to play with them again.
I'll say this, though. I know Jin-Gitaxias, Progress TyrantJin-Gitaxias, Progress Tyrant isn't a Game Changer on the official list and all, but Jin's a card that might be worth mentioning in the rule zero chat. Is it necessary? No, but I think it's worth mentioning.
I'm surprised the Reanimator deck had a problem with it though. Get your Ravenous ChupacabraRavenous Chupacabra in the graveyard, you only needed Mirko to have surveilled twice to get it back!
Your opinions are welcome. We love hearing what you think about Magic! We ask that you are always respectful when commenting. Please keep in mind how your comments could be interpreted by others. Personal attacks on our writers or other commenters will not be tolerated. Your comments may be removed if your language could be interpreted as aggressive or disrespectful. You may also be banned from writing further comments.