Mage's AttendantMage's Attendant Illustrated by Igor Kieryluk
Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas?
This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"
I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email [email protected] with your story, a pseudonym you want to use, and of course, only include details you don't mind in the column! You might see your story below one day. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?
I'm Mike Carrozza and I just got a new pet Plant Wurm thingy.
*sniffle* They grow up so fast.
This week: I told you already!
(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)
SUBMISSION
Howdy Mike!
First off, I wanna say, love the column and the podcast - your wisdom is greatly appreciated. Been really enjoying the mailbag episodes. This last one especially - what a weird line to draw in the sand. Maybe this makes me the Bolas but if that guy sat across from me at the LGS I would pull out my Obuun, Mul Daya AncestorObuun, Mul Daya Ancestor deck every time, without breaking eye contact. Easiest form of player removal I've ever heard of.
Onto the crux of why I "called" today. I've been waffling about submitting this one, but it came up again recently, so I decided to ask your opinion on it.
I play with the same pod almost every Saturday. There is always a certain "meta" level of saltiness that can happen when certain decks and cards come down, but for the most part we get on pretty well and have a good time. We tend to be lenient with people making mistakes or accidental misplays, and are great at reminding each other about missed triggers. However, in the past year or so, we have started tracking our games stats with an app. It has definitely increased the level of competitiveness, but for the most part, hasn't messed with the friendly vibe we tend to adhere to.
Now onto the occurrence for which I request your sage scrutiny. I am playing Burakos, Party LeaderBurakos, Party Leader with Folk HeroFolk Hero Background, and the other player in question was playing Queen MarchesaQueen Marchesa. The Queen is a frequent flyer in our pod and a known aikido control deck, so we all are constantly on watch for a wipe or an InsurrectionInsurrection.
In this particular game, we were a couple hours in, very much late game, and everyone has a pretty beefy board state except The Queen - bad sign for us. At this point, I know if I can get back to my turn, I have the game. I have my Pontiff of BlightPontiff of Blight out as well as a board full of party members, but I'm tapped out save for a Mind StoneMind Stone. If I get to untap, I'm extorting the board.
The issue happened when the Queen player asked the table for a count of untapped mana. The blue player on Baral and Kari ZevBaral and Kari Zev was tapped out, the fourth player on mono white Preston, the VanisherPreston, the Vanisher and, as I stated, I only have a Mind StoneMind Stone untapped. This is all relayed to player, who then proceeds to tap mana to remove mono white player's Ghostly PrisonGhostly Prison from the board and follows that up with tapping out and casting an InsurrectionInsurrection.
In that moment, I was stoked, because two turns previous, I had played a Mage's AttendantMage's Attendant, which gives you a blue Wizard creature token that says pay one and sacrifice this creature to counter target noncreature spell unless its controller pays one. Queen could not afford to pay for my Force SpikeForce Spike effect and the spell got countered. Queen was clearly annoyed when I did this and made some comment about not realizing it was there. To which all of us kind of did the chorus of "they read the card when they cast it." And I also noted that I am using the specific token that the Attendant makes, which visually states what it does, so people could see it and remember. The game continued and I ended up winning by extorting a butt load of times off of casting Sol RingSol Ring.
At the end, Queen again expressed annoyance about me not reminding the board that my Wizard was there when they asked about open mana, and that the win didn't seem fair. I argued the point that the only way the Wizard can be good is when it is overlooked or forgotten and that I wasn't playing unfairly. We ended up moving onto another game but it was clear that Queen MarchesaQueen Marchesa player was pissed at me. Part of me is questioning if I should have reminded everyone about the Wizard and that this specific token has caused this exact problem once before. The more I sit with the more I feel like I might have been the Bolas, but maybe that's the old Irish guilt flooding in. Considering just removing the Attendant from the deck.
Would appreciate your thoughts on this. As always it's a joy to listen. Keep em coming!
Your comrade in arms,
Uncharasmaticbard
P.S. shout out to Morgan, y'all have a great dynamic and always bring out the laughs! Thanks for putting out fun content!
VERDICT
Thank you for writing and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to [email protected] and I'll get to it here.
I will say, a surefire way to get me to definitely write your submission up is to tell me how much you love the darling super genius co-host and super-producer Morgan Sanchez. She's the best!
I think this submission is an interesting one because of one little detail:
"Part of me is questioning if I should have reminded everyone about the Wizard and that this specific token has caused this exact problem once before."
We'll get to that. Let's start with the fact that it's great that you're a playgroup that gets together frequently and enjoy playing with each other enough to put it to spreadsheets and track things. That's very sweet. It also means that you can get to know each other better, prioritize and meta-shift cards here and there, but most of all, you get to pick up on each others' little tricks and such.
Considering that this is not only a card that's in the precon Burakos comes from, this is not the first time this Cat and its Wizard have come to disrupt the stack. Announced when played, stayed in play, visually represented correctly - I'd say there isn't much a reason for your opponent to be mad at you for this.
...however...
Magic is already a complicated game when you've got to track two board states, let alone four! The Marcheezy player definitely surveyed the board and glossed over the token, for sure, but it's still something that I can't fault them for too hard. "Long game, big play incoming, mental energy expended for the potential win, it's time to celebr - hang on. A Force SpikeForce Spike I forgot about or missed? I WISH TO BLAME EVERYONE BUT MYSELF!"
This is still a normal reaction and fair. I get it! You're excited to take the win and crumble like Patrick Sullivan after baiting the Qasali PridemageQasali Pridemage activation, basking in what you managed to pull off. At least that's what you hope!
To have the win snagged from under you especially with something that you missed - my stomach dropped just thinking about it. You lash out, inward or outward, but ultimately, you've gotta let it go and move on to the next game, which is what The Queen does to an extent. I'm sure this didn't carry over to the next session because I'm sure you'd have added a whole bit about being targeted for it in the next game.
That said, I think that an onboard trick deserves a nudge here and there when there's a bunch of stuff on board. I get that the token isn't as good when people play around it and you're literally playing against a deck described as aikido which uses your weaknesses against you - oh, the irony! Personally, my move would be to point to it as a "Hey, you noticed this right?"
Conversely, I'd make a big stink about it entering thanks to the last time, because again, that's my favorite part about this: it's happened before!
What I hope is that this lesson is learned within the playgroup. One of the most fun things about being in a playgroup or joining a playgroup from time to time is finding out the personal "boogiemen" of the group. What cards does this group groan at that doesn't raise an eyebrow in many places.
For example, Archfiend of IfnirArchfiend of Ifnir gets groans everywhere it hits, I'm sure, but some playgroups get to sound the alarms when something more innocuous like a Corpse KnightCorpse Knight hits the board. Don't get me wrong, good ol' CK is a mainstay in my WBx builds, but not everybody treats that lil guy like a harbinger.
All I'm saying is if I joined your pod and you played Mage's AttendantMage's Attendant and two of the other players went "Here we go again," I'd be delighted.
Not the Bolas, none found here.
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Mike Carrozza
Mike Carrozza is a stand-up comedian from Montreal who’s done a lot of cool things like put out an album called Cherubic and worked with Tig Notaro, Kyle Kinane, and more people to brag about. He’s also been an avid EDH player who loves making silly stuff happen. @mikecarrozza on platforms.
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